My birthday. So many people that DON'T give a shit are wishing me happy birthday because of the panopticonic guilt they'll feel if they don't. I wish no one cared and no one wasted space on my Facebook and on my gmail inbox. I just want some god damned ice cream cake and a blowjob.
You know what's bullshit. I waited until I got my college email last year to get a facebook and suddenly facebook is open to the teeming hoards of prepubescent children who couldn't kill enough time being stalked by pedophiles on Myspace and needed to drench their page with 100+ facebook applications because it makes them cool. If someone tries to give me a Pokemon again or tries to attack me with their virtual reality zombies or tries to send me a sticker or tries to get me to rate them or invites me another fucking faggot group, I'm going to find that fag who started facebook and politely ask him to stop.