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New site? Maybe some day. 
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I'm about 30 minutes all together, 4 play and fucking. Back when I smoked weed or did other shit, it would actually be less time.
Although if we've both been drinking and the kids are not home, it can be 45min-1 hour.
Been married 13 years, sex is getting better. Not as frequent as when we first started dating, but when we do it's more enjoyable
AND YOU?
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winter months - 1 hour
summer months - 9 seconds |
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Is this like a "when you were getting laid" thing? how long can I? Hours. Or is it usually how long am I allowed to go before "are you done yet?"? |
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| Or is it usually how long am I allowed to go before "are you done yet?"? |
This. |
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Depends how filthy her mouth is. Boss variable. |
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depends on how often I've fapped the week of or just the overall setting and feeling. That can range anywhere from just a few minutes to an hour plus.
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They say that the human mind thinks about sex every 7 seconds, which is why I always eat a hot dog in sex seconds before I feel gay. |
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depends on the broad. if its a first, then I just try to kill time before the eventual pump and dump |
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There's a relationship card we probably won't see in the Hallmark aisle anytime soon: "Thanks for the great pump and dump!" |
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"hey baby" |
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How long is the Black Pyramid record? That, plus an awkward minute or so of sex noise minus music.
Alternate answer: If stimulants are involved, either a thousand hours, or zero. |
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I wouldn't have guessed that; from everything I keep hearing, dudes are just terrible in bed. lol |
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Only penciled-in eyebrows are real. |
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I actually go back in time. |
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| I actually go back in time. |
That's some Advanced Class shit, right thurr. |
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As long as the job requires. |
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Only penciled-in eyebrows are real. |
 |
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ITT: two pump chumps pretending they aren't what they are
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| I actually go back in time. |
/looks in the mirror
"Dad?" |
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As long as I'm allowed... |
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what's the world record for the fastest anyone's ever started and stopped a stopwatch
that long |
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how much wood could a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck could fuck wood? |
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Who gives a fuck while they're giving fucks? |
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If you're looking at the clock then you're doing something wrong. |
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This thread need the wisdom of the mighty T.V.:
I'm Glad I'm Not a Girl
they look for love
we look for meat
they think that's bad
we think that's neat
girls have problems yes indeed
like that monthly rot they all must bleed
thought about that? well think about this
don't wanna sit when i take a piss
i'm glad i'm not a girl (x4)
not being able to choose your fuck
cuz some schmuck might beat you up
no fun like that in the world
just because you're a girl
(chorus x4)
bloody mess from a monthly discharge
livin' like that must sure be hard
glad it happens to them not me
like having babies 1 2 3
there are many reasons can't you see?
(chorus x4) |
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| If you're looking at the clock then you're doing something wrong. |
What if you are having maritals with a chronophobe? |
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Never mind trying to get one into a DeLorean. |
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| If you're not doing it in a Delorean then you're doing something wrong. |
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| If you're not doing it in a Delorean then you're doing something wrong. |
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1.21 JiggleWatts!!
 |
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doing it someplace uncomfortable? |
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like the back of a volkswagon? |
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ITT: two pump chumps pretending they aren't what they are
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I beg to differ. I see plenty of honest, or at least partially honest folks... However, I myself don't even engage in the act unless I have at least two free days. No point in doing something if you aren't going to do it right... amirite? |
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I won't and don't cum til she get's at least 4 orgasms. That is the way of the gentleman. |
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| I won't and don't cum til she get's at least 4 orgasms. That is the way of the gentleman. |
This is why I give all my lady companions one of these:
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One of these comes in handy, as well.
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One of these should, in all fairness, be considered purely optional:
 |
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| If you're not doing it in a Delorean then you're doing something wrong. |
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1.21 JiggleWatts!!
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They only become JiggleWatts when the girl in question weighs a chronoton. |
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I too wait to blast until muh ladies had at least a couple 'Gazums. didn't expect this thread to get all Alpaca. noice |
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i never give the fuck, the fuck is always given to me
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my totally rad band wrote a song about this just the other day, it's called "ferocious sex while slaying the dragon on a sea of skateboards that lasts an eternity and a half until we go get pizza and then fuck some more" |
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| my totally rad band wrote a song about this just the other day, it's called "ferocious sex while slaying the dragon on a sea of skateboards that lasts an eternity and a half until we go get pizza and then fuck some more" |
Hey why are you stealing our song titles? Get your own songs! Not that it makes sense for us to write anything about sex since it is something we obviously have no experience with. Unless you count the occasional band practice butt sex. |
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theres so many chicks in wmass down with our shit and you guys cant find one that wants to jump your bones, i guess my band is just better at stealing 80s thrash riffs and writing lyrics about pizza than yours is |
 
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