first i need a bigger penis, and then bigger b00bs and then i need to lose weight...and then someone overseas wants to give me $$$$

and today:

i get the following email
subject: Have eternal life

Don't make the mistake of not accepting God while you are alive.


Its too late if you end up in hell.


Contact a local church or prayerline today.


He is real do not be in Hell by the time you realize it.

God is alive


parliament laissez endemic abroad circulate chad forgetting aboard munition belt

fuck that crap

i love all this church closing stuff soon we'll see clergy out panhandling wearing signs that say "will pray for food"

i'd only turn toward the church if i was promised bigger boobs, a bigger penis, and weight loss.

i would only turn toward church......

Id never turn toward church