Hi, my name is Brad, and i'm a fatty.

i need to lose weight and keep it off. I take care of my 3 month old son during the day, so my exercise will be confined to my living room for a little while until the weather is better

any advice? i don't eat fast food, probably eat too much bread.

South Beach works. It's not a huge pain in the balls to do, and it allows for going out and gorging yourself on heavy beer and pizza on the occasion. Only caveat: You'll end up with red wine as your sole alcohol intake for a few weeks.

eat less red meat, eat in less quantities, drink water like crazy, dont drink soda or (too much) beer, sit ups, push ups, walk up and down the stairs in your house for a few minutes, try not to eat a ton of cheese, even though cheese is amazing... ummm... tae bo? haha.

but yeah, seriously, if you drink a ton of soda and you suddenly stop doing that and drink a lot of water you will drop a lot of weight without changing anything else in your diet or exercise routine. that is coming from a fellow fatty that actually became less fat from doing just that. i wanna say like 30-35 pounds in like 3 months.

don't eat after 7pm.
cut out soda, drink water, eat smaller portions.
and get one of those gazelles.

YOU CAN DOOOOOOOO ITTTTTTTTTTTT!

over break, I put on 5lbs.. and then I switched from lifting for like 30 minutes 1-2 times a week to 1-2+ hours once a week and I put on another 5lbs of muscles so I'm 195 now! I'm waiting for the 4 or 5 week point where the muscle will consume the 5lbs I put on over break. I also swim a mile any night that I can.
Then again, I don't drink soda and don't eat meat.

You should see if there is a Y in your area with a nice pool. it's crazy good exercise. I went from a 50-minute mile stopping every 3 laps to a sub 30 minute mile which I force myself to stop every 8 (1/4 mile) or 16 (1/2 mile) laps and take an extra breath

I'm all over the advice as well, I've been hitting the gym and all that, and my downfall was always soda. I started drinking the Coke zero products and there seems to be a noticeable change. Has anyone done any serious looking into this stuff? i.e. am I kidding myself thinking it's diet? It SAYS zero calories, etc., but it doesn't taste like diet. It's like a commercial, I know, but what's up with zero?

Many studies have shown that people who consistently move around throughout the day maintain better weight than people who have just a workout routine each day. Spaldino's advice is perfect for this; walking is the best exercise for even weight loss. Also, read your nutrition facts on everything you eat. The 2,000 calorie diet that all nutrition facts are based on is for the people that don't do anything physical aside from just walk to the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, etc. So, if you don't get the chance to do much moving around throughout the day just make sure you're following the recommended serving sizes on the back of everything you eat. Write everything down that you eat too; this will help you realize what you need to cut out and what you need to start eating more of.

As far as what to eat, definitely stay away from soda, anything with high concentrations of corn syrup, preservatives, saturated fat and high amounts of carbohydrates. Anyone who tells you to cut out carbohydrates is 100% wrong unless you're going to require triple-bypass surgery or something to that effect. The key thing to remember about carbs is that you NEED them to exert energy, but you have to make sure you're taking in the correct amount that you'll actually be using. If you're sitting around the house all day eating a lot of bread like you say, you're definitely going to want to cut back big time. If you're going to be moving around a lot, just stick with the recommended serving size. If you're going to go on a long walk, jog, run, bike ride or whatever, consume more carbohydrates but not a huge amount.

People say they lose weight easily with lo/no-carb diets, which is true, but it's because they end up replacing carbs with protein. Protein's main function is to maintain and build muscle, which is vital to physical health. When the body does not take in enough carbohydrates but has an excess of protein, it starts to burn protein as if it was carbohydrate. Therefore, the protein you were using to keep your muscle is being burned 3x faster than the body would burn carbohydrates, taking away from your muscle. People lose weight easily this way because muscle is 3x the density of fat, so they're losing muscle weight 3x faster than actual fat.

Eat as many vegetables and fruits as possible. Apples, oranges, and broccoli are excellent "physics" as some would say; i.e. they help you shit, but not that, "Oh my lord I just ate too many tacos" type of shit.

I could go on for days, but I'll leave it at that for now. I wish I actually had the discipline to abide by everything I just typed, hahaha.

Mark, it's not "no carbs" I'm reccomending; it's "good carbs/bad carbs." Eating whole grains and shit is a far cry from eating a box of Kraft mac & cheese and a loaf of Wonderbread.

get extra poor

this always does the job for me

Diet and Exercise dude!
Try to find an elliptical machine that can be stashed in your living room. Used fitness equipment is pretty reasonable.

I have high triglycerides so I'm suppose to limit sugars. take that.

Also, delete your system32 folder.

Fuck losing the weight. Do a massive organ-destroying steroid cycle and start lifting like a psychopath. You will be a monster.

getting poor makes you fatter cause you buy shittier foods.

theaccurseddrummer said:

It is "diet," but that doesn't mean it's good for you. Because of the phenylalynine or however the fuck you spell it, aspartame and other chemicals, drinking too much "diet" soda can fuck with your amino acids big time. Having 1 or 2 isn't that bad; some people will drink 6 of them in a day and think they're doing just fine and dandy because there are no calories. Eventually if you drink too much of the stuff, your body will stop producing the amino acids it's supposed to and you'll have to rely on supplements every day. Same goes with stuff like Vitamin Water, Life Water and all of those other "health" drinks. Don't get me wrong, they're fucking delicious, but people who rely on them too much are kidding themselves. You're better off taking your vitamins in the morning and drinking water throughout the day when you get thirsty.

Oh, and another thing about the word "diet." Too many people think that "diet" is just what you do to lose weight...which is why 90% of "diets" fail miserably. Diet is what you eat regularly, every day of your life. One of the most important things is moderation; if you go from one extreme to the other between "diets" and what you regularly consume, you're just going to lose weight fast, think it's ok to start eating crap again, and gain it back even faster than you lost it. One thing that will help keep you on an even keel is NOT giving up the foods you love. If you do that, eating is not going to be fun anymore; you have to eat the bad stuff sparingly so you have something to look forward to. I find that when I try to "quit" soda and fast food (mainly Taco Bell, haha), I do well for a month or two but then the second I have it again, there is no steady transition, which will definitely fuck with your body.

MarkFuckingRichards said:


That last sentence made it all worth reading haha.

DestroyYouAlot said:

Oh I know. I was just mentioning it before someone else says to stop eating carbs, haha.

Rev, maybe you should tell your triglicerhoojiewhatsits to stop being pussies and let you eat sugar. Pansy.

Come up with a conditioning routine that you can do in your living room. 6 - 15 pushups, 6 - 15 situps, 10 - 15 squats. Vary your numbers each time. I do 4 to 5 cycles of it, but I do it to complement my existing workout, so I don't know what you'd want to do.

Weight lifting is better for losing weight than most people think. The philosophy there is that by building muscle you raise your resting metabolism. That means that you'll burn more calories over the course of the day. Weight lifting with cardio is without a doubt the best way to go though. I went from like 160 - 180 after I started lifting, and then dropped down to the low 170s once I brought cardio into the mix. INTERVAL TRAINING IS THE KEY. Don't be one of those people that sits on an exercise bike for 2 hours, and wonders why the don't lose any weight. Come up with intervals (90 second sprints, 30 second jogs, whatever) and your body will burn more calories.

Also, I've heard that if you replace 1 meal a day with a shake you can drop weight pretty effectively too. I'm into raspberry yogurt, banana, blackberry, peanut butter, maybe some oatmeal or Kashi, milk (and muscle milk powder if I'm lifting that day). Fuggin delicious.

DestroyYouAlot said:

i did! what a difference

red meat and i don't get along anymore, so that's out. i love cheese and bread, i know that's not good for you, so that'll be tough but i can do it. i don't drink much if any soda. my problem is i procrastinate like a mofo, but i'm 32 and sure as fuck ain't getting any younger! thanks all

DestroyYouAlot said:

i have dimetriculitis and other gastrointestinal problems, so alcohol is my enemy. i smoke weed and drink coffee, those are my vices. that and grabbing my wife's ass

Cocaine!

brad weymouth said:

Oh, well, then you're all set.

Here's my version of the South Beach thing (find the book at a used bookstore or Amazon if you're looking for the real deal; the theory is worth reading):

- Morning: 2-egg omelette, any combination of mushrooms, spinach, onions, and/or tomatoes, with American cheese. Potatoes if I'm feeling extra hungry/don't give a fuck that day, but technically they're a no-no - you need to avoid them most days.

You want a good protein shot in the AM. Cheese is cool, just stick to the leaner cheeses when you have a chance. (Mozzarella is A+, but my work cafeteria doesn't have it.)

- Snack: Usually nuts of some sort, pistachios, mixed nuts, or cashews. Or sweaty man nuts, those work too.

You need to keep snacking during the day. It'll do wonders to kill the urge to gorge yourself at meals (takes a few weeks, but trust me), and you want to keep your metabolism firing.

- Lunch: Whatever the hell's at the caf that doesn't break the rules too badly. Technically, you're looking for lean meats (poultry and fish), veggies, lean dairy. Whole-grain stuff if you're gonna have a pasta or bread. No sugars, or as little as you can manage. Eat fruit only once in a while; there's tons of good stuff there, but the sugar can be a killer.

Usually I end up taking in some sugar with the sauce on whatever it is, but shit happens. That's the magic - this is the "shit happens" diet. Same with the red meat - when taco salad day rolls around, it's all out the window. (Although they do have a whole wheat bowl here, so the red meat's the only problem.)

- Snack: Whatever's left over from the morning, usually.

Some people do yogurt (no fruit), cottage cheese, that kinda crap. I'm lazy. PB on celery is a good bet. Just get some protein and something in your stomach. I bring an avocado to work once in a while; lots of good fatty acids, tons of protein, and not too much sugar.

- Dinner: See lunch. I get lazy with dinner as often as not, 'cause my girl's a terrible eater, but if we eat separately (she works later then I do), I'll do lentil soup, or something chicken. Sometimes whole wheat pasta with whatever. (I like clam sauce, personally.)

- Snack: If I end up hungry after dinner (happens less and less the longer I eat like this), sweet potato chips are a good bet. I like'em better than the regular ones, but YMMV. Or I'll do a yogurt or whatever.

So, with all of this, I still drink a ton of super-high gravity beer on Friday, and eat fast food crap one or two nights out of the week, and I've been slowly but steadily dropping pounds over the weeks. It works well, but I also feel a hell of a lot better when I regulate my food. (For an anarchist, I respond pretty well to discipline, albeit the self-inflicted variety.) YMMV, but it's worth a shot.

MFR doesn't know what he's talking about Aspartame is no longer in many products. what is in them is sucralose.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sucralose
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspartame

Aspartame has the side effect of turning to formaldehyde @ 90 degrees.

sorry, 86 degrees

The no eating after 7pm thing is crap. They just did a big study on it that was all over health news and shit. People who snack after 7pm and people who didn't had no difference in weight statistics. Obviously just don't eat garbage at night (which is when most people eat garbage, I know I do).

You can still eat bread, just make it whole wheat bread. NO white. (You'll start liking it eventually, trust me.) White is terrible for you. White flour too. I eat it everyday and that's why I'm never going to be a size 2. Or 8 for that matter. I'll care again when this watermelon is born.

I think the best thing you can do without depriving yourself is start by STOCKING the fridge with decent shit to eat. If you have that stuff laying around, you'll eat it. Bottles of water should take up a shelf of your fridge (if you're not a water drinker generally, after a week you'll feel so fucking good it's insane.) Snack throughout the day like Captain Southbeach said. Getting to exercise will be the hardest part, maybe get some videos? Those worked great for me when I gave a shit what I looked like.

Also if you get into it and consider a gym, 99% of them have great daycares for a couple bucks an hour.

And if you can get over your manliness enough, yoga is 100% the best (and most difficult) strength training you can do. Of all the shit I did when I was at the gym a lot, that gave me the best results.

Good luck!

There's plenty of aspartame all over the place, Rev. Unless all the companies that contain it in their products are starting to replace it gradually.

Fake sugar scares the shit out of me. I avoid it like the plague.

A.PANZER said:

LULZ

Exercise & Muscle Directory very helpful

anyone know what effect weed has on metabolism? all the studies ive seen sound like guessing.

MarkFuckingRichards said:

every place already has.. you are like 7 years behind the time.
Coke Zero is sucralose and not aspartame.

here is a list of products from 12/3/2000
http://www.mercola.com/2000/dec/3/sucralose_products.htm

I can find NO list like that for apsartame.

Eat less or exercise, faggot.

How many fucking times do I have to say it?! You want to get in shape - you put on a fucking RAVEN LP. It's pretty fucking simple.

I lost about 50 pounds in my first year or so of going vegan and continue to lose weight. I also cut out a lot of soda, but I still drink it. I have not increased my amount of excercise (which is basically none at all aside from drums and sex, which I don't think really count) since, either.

Not that you have to go vegan to lose weight the way I did, but in order to still eat a lot of great food, I couldn't eat so much that was bad for me. I'm not the type to live on mac&cheese or frozen dinner things so I cook a lot and always ate at good places when out rather than fast food or something, so when I went vegan it wasn't all bocca burgers and pasta, it was a lot more vegetables, whole grains, greens, etc. Basically I think the reason I've been able to keep weight off for the first time in my life is that veganism is not a diet but a lifestyle, so it was never a temporary inconvenience, it was just a complete change that I felt good about. Again, I'm not pushing you to go vegan, but the idea of changing to a healthier overall diet that still consists of good food (and not 'diet food') seems to be a more logical way of staying fit than dieting periodically.

I personally have lost about a hundred pounds over the last 5 years and I can tell you that besides excercise and diet nothing else really works. I know that excercise and diet are real real hard to maintain, but believe me, after the first 25 or so pounds come off it gets really easy. Not only will you looking better motivate you, but good habbits just become part of live after a while. No matter what, just keep trying and dont get discouradged.

My roommate has one of those balance balls and they work pretty well as far as excercising in the house goes. Even though its a massive ball, you can do alot with it. Get one of those and some dumbells and you're ready to rock.

TIMMA said:

My wife just got one of those balls....*insert many jokes here*

Cocaine gave me way too many health problems, so that won't work

yeah, diet and exercise, i was just looking for input, maybe some pointers...

oh and Anthony, your bands will always suck. learn how to rock dickweed.

Get a scale and weigh everything out. Jeff that was in IWEIPH did this when he got diagnosed with diabetes and lost a whole person in like a year's time.

Yogurt, bananas, apple sauce, mixed nuts and Gatorade. This also keeps you fairly free of getting sick.

check out mens health articles on interval training.

also try www.bodybuilding.com tons of useful articles there

there is a shit ton of good advice in here. i don't need to lose weight whatsoever, but i do need to start eating healthier and exercising more. after completely eliminating soda and replacing it with water i have felt so much better. if you need the caffeine, find a tea that works for you.

Corn isn't your best bet; bran is much better. From the sound of things, you're probably better off focusing on the lean dairy stuff - my body does pretty well with the eggs and nuts thing, but it looks like yours won't. String cheese is always a good bet, as are those little Laughing Cow wedges. If you go with yogurt, get used to the plain stuff - if you don't mind artificial sweeteners, toss half a Splenda packet in, maybe some cinnamon, that kinda thing. I would just get the cottage cheese one-shots.

Just stick with it, even when you fuck up - that's the #1 thing. Don't even think of it like, "I fucked up," just, "Ok, I ate that tonight, and tomorrow is extra-lean to make up for it." Spend a week or two on a strict regimen to get your body used to the idea, and then you can relax a bit.

the_reverend said:

Correction

Yeti said:

i'm just gonna limit myself to one cup a day in the morning, then water for the rest of the day.

VomittingCarcass said:

it speeds it up and makes you hungry.

wow... coke zero is aspartame...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coca-Cola_Zero#Ingredients

Take your goal weight, multiply it by 10 and then add .2 of that number. The resulting number is what your daily caloric intake should be. Stick to it and you will weigh that much.

I use to save up my calories for later in the day/evening. It's bullshit that if you eat at night that you'll have problems losing weight. I went from 405 pounds to 220 pounds in about a year. I became obsessive and began the Nazi diet, eating 660 calories a day. I have since put a lot of weight back on, but I should have never gone below 300 to begin with. 325 is my natural weight and what I weighed when I played football in college.

Food intake consisted of lean beef cheeseburgers on light rolls with Hellman's light mayo and ketchup, a lot of roast beef, turkey and ham sandwiches and gallons of diet Coke. Salad was huge because it fills you up with minimal caloric intake. Add grilled chicken, ham, cheese and you have a good meal.

Low fat is not the way to go. Low carb is not the weigh to go. 3500 calories=1 pound of weight. If you are not willing to make wholesale lifestyle changes you could go about it in a different way. Since 3500 calories equals one pound of weight, you can simply make substitutions and cut certain foods out. Try light bread and have Splenda in your coffee. An old friend cut his peanut butter cup intake and Coca-Cola intake in half and lost 20 pounds.

There's a lot of good advice in this thread.

Losing weight, counting calories, etc... all tend to be pretty poor goals. The fat guy kinda said it well when he stated "make wholesale lifestyle changes".

Getting in shape isn't necessarily hard to do. The hard part is making the commitment, which is why so many people FAIL at it daily.

Commit yourself to 20-30 minutes of weight lifting every other day. I'd recommend the traditional:

Day 1: Chest and Tri's
Day 2: Back and Bi's
Day 3: legs
Day 4: abs and cardio

In addition, commit yourself to cardio DAILY, or at least every other day. The key to cardio is that you want to attain and SUSTAIN a rapid heart rate for 20 minutes. This means you should probably get a heart rate monitor, and plan for a 30 minute cardio. As far as doing cardio in your living room, get a jumprope. Aside from swimming, it's my favorite cardio.

As for particular excercises, you could make another whole thread about it. Just try different things and find what works for you. Doing the perfect workout won't help much if it makes you not want to go to the gym or work out. Instead, focus on shit that you enjoy and feel comfortable with.

Get a ski pass and throw your kid in a backpack.

Step 1: Don't eat anything before heading to the mountain
Step 2: Ski all fucking day
Step 3: ??????
Step 4: Lose like 8 pounds by the end of the day.
Step 5: Drink some water so you don't pass out or something

BobNOMAAMRooney nli said:

haha, nice.

SOUTH BRONX PARADISE, BABY!

ArrowHeadNLI said:

HARDCORE DANCE!
OMGZ I'VE LOST ABOUT 50 POUNDS AND NOW CAN FIT INTO SKINNY JEANS! <3

that statement could be the caption to about 10000 emo band photos.

RichHorror said:

Yeah, he really did.

Ask MSD what he's doing. That guy gets skinnier every time I see him.

pam nli said:

i thought he might respond, must be too busy sewing that pedo-bear costume

I think a lot of MSD's weight loss has to do with hitting the gym every single day.

brad weymouth said:

Perhaps if you post a naked picture of an adolescent he'll sniff it out and respond.

RichHorror said:

And by "the gym," we mean "that toddler he has handcuffed to his radiator."

Unprotected sex with a homosexual.

pam nli said:

Thank ya, maam.

Yeah my regiment mostly includes going to the gym at least 4 days a week. I lift weights also, because it's supposed to be an important part of weight loss (metabolism bullshit or whatnot). I usually do 45 minutes of cardio while I'm there, but in the last couple of weeks I've upped it to 60 minutes. I just use one of the elliptical machines keeping my heart rate in an average of 150 - 170 bpm on average. (fuck treadmills).

For a diet I usually don't go too ridiculous. If I'm eating good, I'll eat a bowl of some disgusting cerial with no sugar in it in the morning, a sandwhich (on whole weat bread) or salad wrap for lunch, and something light for dinner. Usually I fuck one of those meals up in a day though. And it's usually because Mark demands we go get tacos during a TYAG, Composted, or ETF practice.

I think the exercise is the important thing though. I can usually eat like shit and keep losing weight as long as I keep the portion sizes way down and hit the gym pretty hard. Food is my vice since I hate myself and don't do drugs or alcohol.

I'm down 90lbs overall and I plan to lose another 20 by the terminally tour just to set a goal for myself.

wow dude, good for you. i cant afford a gym membership, so i went out last night and got a dvd for cardio, it's broken into 10-20 minute segments. as far as weights go, i'm not sure, may have to just use dumbells since i don't have room for a bench

Try this:


bennyhillifier

holy shit that's frightening.

Wow!