http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/06/19/vatican.road.rage.ap/index.html

The "Drivers' Ten Commandments," as listed by the document, are:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.



... I can think of at least 10 things wrong with that list.

I believe those only apply if you're driving one of these:

damn look at those rims son

Yeti said:

You have got to be fucking kidding me. I wonder what the Vatican's teachings on fruit washing are; I need to know that the Pope approves of the manner in which I wash my apples and avocados.

#10 is the only one you need. Feel responsible towards others.

Feel responsible for the fact that you're using your Dodge Durango to box people out of changing lanes on the highway. Feel responsible for the fact that you almost caused an accident because you slammed on the brakes 200 feet short of a routine red light stop. Feel responsible for the fact that you're driving people insane by holding up everyone by taking a half hour to make a turn. Feel responsible for the fact you're driving 50 miles an hour in a residential area, you're 50 feet away from someone me on a bike, and you're not slowing down. Feel responsible for fucking something, for once.

FuckIsMySignature said:

This, for me, would definitely involve a large amount of kidnapping and a Punisher t-shirt.

"You have flagrantly ignored the commonly-held merging protocol. You have driven 70 mph in the left-hand lane, during rush hour. There must be a reckoning." *lights blowtorch*

There's nothing in there about signaling, merging, or getting the hell out of the passing lane...useless. How about "thou shall not drive like a flaming douche"?

Driving too slow in the left lane should be a crucifiable offence.

Taking more than 2 seconds to hit the gas when the light turns green should be punished by a severe beating.

If you hit a kid dumb enough to play in the street, his parents should have to pay for any car repairs.

Stopping for a yellow light should be punished by a month of having to let everyone get in front of you in line at the supermarket, because you obviously don't give a fuck what time you get anywhere.

People who take too fucking long to merge into the highway from an entrance ramp, castration because you clearly have no balls anyway.

Slowing down to look at an accident that is anything less than a car engulfed in flames or has dead bodies = eyes gouged out. (oooh look, a fender bender, let's back up traffic for ten miles)

Well, zooming up on my ass when we're both doing 80 in the left lane in solid traffic and humping my bumper is already punishable by my slamming on the brakes and causing you to swerve all over the road like a retard, in 50 states.

this is idiocy, you do not need ten commandments, just one "obey the laws"

My_Dying_Bride said:

My son, Catholics subscribe to a "higher law." Which, apparently (until recently), allowed them to do 120 on the wrong side of the road, wounding school children (it's cool as long as they're just crippled, not dead), tossing fast food containers out the window, and running motherfuckers into ditches. (No abortions, though.) Come to bible study at my house after school, and we'll talk about it.

FuckIsMySignature said:

Evidently ol Pope Ratzy never went to make out point after dragracing the sharks down suicide bluff.
On another note, are motorcycles approved for power and domination?
Can duckboats be used for an occasion of sin?

fukkthekids said:

You have a duckboat? Specs please.

Failing to signal when changing lanes should be punishable by shotgun death.

*sigh*

Catholics...