1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
3) My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.
5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.
7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."
9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.
10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

14) You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can be breast fed by you til I'm 20.....

15) Hi, I'm Rich.

The other night at the Bullpen I was offering people the cupcakes that I brought. I asked one guy if he wanted a cupcake and he said "Are you the cupcake?" to which I firmly replied no. He said in that case, no, he would not like one.

Yeah. Didn't work.

"Hi, I'm Scott from Zircon."

Any word that comes out of Tyler's mouth.

Dissector said:

I've seen it, it's true.

i hear getting drunk and screaming across the bar you wanna fuck your waitress doesnt help either.

weird.

Yet oddly it does get your friend laid.

RichHorror said:

Whenever Tyler talks to another human being we pretend we don't know him, even when he's sitting at the table with us.

RichHorror said:

you tell lies of a thousand lying liars

I like to get offended like he's some random dude who rudely sat at my table, and get flustered and storm away.

W3 nli said:

If you scream across the bar threats of killing her if she doesn't fuck your friend, it does indeed work.

If ur mom was as hot as u I'd like to make u 2 the bread and me the meat

RichHorror said:

i was there, it happens.

she's so affraid of you, theyre getting married.

RICH HORROR WORKS MAGIC.

Best one I've ever gotten-
"Damn Liz, you're so much hotter on crutches than you ever were without them."

shatteredliz said:

That's because you can't escape as easily.

Oooh, here's another one:

Random guy on the subway - Your eyes are so pretty. Are they blue or green?
Me - It's 5 in the morning, my eyes are red.
Random guy on the subway - Oh, well they're pretty.

"Hi I'm Steve from Of The Betrayed now bounce on my cock".

the_reverend said:

haha # 6 is great

*sticks gun in her back*
GET IN THE TRUNK! I'M NOT FUCKING PLAYIN GET IN THE GODDAMN TRUNK!

oh wait, did you say worst picking lines?

Me: Oh hey look over there
Cum Dumpster: What's over there?
Me: (Puts roofie in CD's drink) Nothing, you missed it.

'You gotta piss sometime....'

"is this a pimple or a boil?"

Don't worry little one, that is candy sticking out of my zipper