Cowmaximus: I wish women that had no intention of putting my penis in their mouth would stop talking to me.

Yes, ladies. Please take note.

i hope the also take note of the numbers of hairs on your scrotum.

And the number of times I stab them in the side of the neck with a Phillips head screwdriver.

phillips head screwdrivers are so modern.

just deal with that....

HIGH54CANCER: on and another thing, i dont understand why in porn girls moan while getting tittie fucked, i mean when i do that they dont moan. they just kinda stare like please dont fuck my eye out
Cowmaximus: I don't understand why they moan when they're wearing a strap-on and the other girl is sucking off the strap-on
HIGH54CANCER: the mysteries of the vagina

Cowmaximus: I don't understand why they have to speak
HIGH54CANCER: well thats to tell you, they like it and more, harder all that goodstuff. you know i mean how else would they be able to ask you if youre full at dinner
Cowmaximus: They should just keep bringing more food out until you punch them i the whoreface
HIGH54CANCER: haha
HIGH54CANCER: ok you win this round
Cowmaximus: And when they cry, say "Sorry. I just wanted to punch you in the whoreface, whoreface!"
Cowmaximus: And laugh and laugh.

Oh, those were the days of wine and salad.

It's the only way they ever listen, truly.