What kind of cheese isn't yours?

NACHO CHEESE!

This is going to fill up with awful jokes in no time!

it fuckin better

haha

Why do Japanese people have slanted eyes?

They're still squinting from the flash!

My life.


most shitty joke of all.

Q. Whats the difference between a pizza and a decapitated 12-year old?
A. I don't have a pizza in my trash compactor

Q. What's the worst thing about having sex with 5-year-olds?
A. You have to kill them after you're done.
A. Getting the blood out of your clown suit
A. Getting the diaper back on
A. Hearing the hip crack.

Q. What's the best thing about fucking a 5 year old girl?
A. Turn her over and pretend she' s a five year old boy.

Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend is on steroids?
A. If she holds you down and fucks you up the ass with her clit.

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. What's every queer's fantasy?
A. Running backwards in a corn field.

Q. What file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A. A Pedophile.

Q: What has 9 arms and sucks?
A: Def Lepoard.

Q: A blonde, brunette and a redhead are in the 3rd grade. Which one has the biggest tits?
A: The blonde, she's 19

Q. Why do German shower heads have eleven holes?
A. Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

Q. What'd the pedophile say when he got out of jail?
A. I feel like a kid again.

Q. Whats the definition of disgusting?
A. Stuffing a dozen oysters into your granny's cunt and sucking out thirteen.

Q. Did you hear about the Jewish cheerleader?
A. She wanted her quarterback.

Q. What's better than fucking a 5 year old Korean boy.
A. Nothing.

Q. Did you hear the joke they're not telling to assholes?
A.

Q. How do make a six year old boy cry twice?
A. Wipe the blood off his ass with his teddy bear.

Q. Why did Metallica cut their hair off?
A. Their barber told them it was the only way to get the matted cum out of it.

Q. What do you do after raping a deaf, dumb and blind girl?
A. Break her fingers so she can't tell her mum

Q. What's red and white and wears a funny hat?
A. The Pope, with an axe in his face.

Q. What's brown and tastes like applesauce?
A. Baby shit.

Q. What's the difference between a retarded child and a fucking freak.
A. Political correctness.

Q. What's worse than eating your grandmother's pussy?
A. Banging your head on the coffin lid.

Q. What is the best thing that could ever come out of the middle-east?
A. Radio-active fallout.

Q. why are the streets of paris lined with trees?
A. so the german soldiers can march in the shade.

Q. why did the french loose the Battle of Waterloo?
A. because they're french

Q. why does france smell so bad?
A. because the french spend so much time with their hands up.

Q. When is it appropriate to spit in an Italian woman's face?
A. When her mustache is on fire.

Q. what's the greatest thing about having a woman for president?
A. We wouldn't have to pay her as much.

Q: What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A: A four-year old locked in my trunk.

Q. What's the hardest part of rollerblading?
A. Telling your dad you're gay.

Q. How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
A. Kick his sister in the chin

Q: What's green, and has 12 tits?
A: A garbage bag at a breast cancer clinic.

Q. Whaddaya get when you pull six feet of razor wire out of a little boy's ass?
A. Hard.

Q. What's the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds?
A. There's twenty of them.

Q. How many Muslims does it take to change a light bulb.
A. None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it.

Q. What's the difference between a clown and a dead 9-year old?
A. I've never fucked a clown before.

Q. What's the hardest part of rollerblading?
A. Telling your dad you're gay.

HAHAHA.

these ones made me pee a little

Q: What's green, and has 12 tits?
A: A garbage bag at a breast cancer clinic.

Q. What's the hardest part of rollerblading?
A. Telling your dad you're gay.

Q. why does france smell so bad?
A. because the french spend so much time with their hands up.

Q. When is it appropriate to spit in an Italian woman's face?
A. When her mustache is on fire.

Q. what's the greatest thing about having a woman for president?
A. We wouldn't have to pay her as much

Q. Whats the definition of disgusting?
A. Stuffing a dozen oysters into your granny's cunt and sucking out thirteen.

I agree, that was the best one.

the roller blade one.

haha

I just have piles of these laying around in text files.

Some of those we're just too funny, looks like I got some to tell at the bridge club!

Here's the CORNIEST joke ever:




A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

the other night i walked into the bar and I sat down right next to this beautiful woman. I said "hi, what's your name?"

she said "Carmen"

i said "that's a nice name, your parents give you that?"

she said, "no, I gave it to myself, because i like cars, and I like men. what's your name?"

I thought for a minute, and then I looked at her and said "my name is BEERFUCK"

remember:Anal Norsk Bathory

Q. What would Princess Di be doing right now if she was alive?

A. Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

Q. Have you heard about the new disney film set in New Orleans?

A. it's called Finding Negro

Q: Why are there no fireworks nightly at EuroDisney?

A: They keep trying to surrender.

hahaha

Why did the Jew cross the street?
So he would mugged by a nigger.

my friend told me one today that went something like this:

Q: How do you fit 20 Jews in one car?

A: Three in the front, three in the back, and the rest in the ash tray!

Knock knock.

Come in.

Q:How many eithiopians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 2, One to change the lightbulb, and the other to eat the packaging.

q.how many metalheads does it take to stop world hunger?
a.none ther to busy hiding in the closet!

how do you kill 400 flies at once?

hit an ethiopian in the face with a shovel




what's the best part of getting head from an ethiopian chick?

you know she'll swallow

how many militant feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

two; one to change the bulb, and one to suck my cock

Q. How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?

A. All of them

Q. What does Yoko Ono have in common with Ethiopia?

A. They're both living off dead beetles

Q. Why can't Ethiopians take a shower?

A. They keep slipping down the drain

Q. What happens when a jew with a hard-on walks into a wall?

A. He breaks his nose

Q. What do you say to a black jew?

A. Get in the back of the oven!!

Q. Why don't sharks eat blacks?

A. They mistake them for whale shit

Q. What's the american dream?

A. 10 million blacks swimming back to Africa with a jew under each arm

Q. How can you tell if your secretary is Polish

A. There's white-out all over the computer screen

Q. Why does Mexico never do well in the Olympics?

A. Because all the mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already over here

Q. Did you hear about the polish mexican

A. He tried to spray graffitti on a chain link fence

Josh_Martin said:

i loled

Josh_Martin said:

haha, brilliant!

my mom said its mean to be racist but there jokes are so goddamn funny

Josh_Martin said:

hahahaha

the olympics one is the best.

Bringin' it back!

Q: Why don't Cubans take showers?




A: Because they always wash up on shore...

Did you hear about the tempura house? It's a shelter for lightly battered women.

What do you get when you cross a Pollack and a Jew?

A Janitor that owns the building.

Stop the bus
And let my brother
Jack off