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: post by GEORGE ZIMMER at 2007-07-13 14:47:27

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IT ALL STARTED WHEN ELTON JOHN AND I WERE IN THE SAME YOGA CLASS DOWN AT THE YMCA. WHILE IN A PARTICULARLY PRECIPITOUS POSITION, SADISTICALLY-SIZED SCROTAL SOFTBALLS SLID FROM THEIR SAFE STORAGE SPOT AND SLAPPED HIM SENSELESS. THE MOMENTUM CAUSED MY MERCILESSLY MASSIVE MEAT MANATEE TO ABDICATE ITS ABODE. AFTER BASTING THE BUNCH OF BAFFLED BROADS WITH A GENEROUS GEYSER OF GRADE-A YIFF YOGURT, THE INSTRUCTOR WAS IMMEDIATELY AND IGNOMINIOUSLY INTERRED BY THE 120MPH Z-TRAIN, FURIOUSLY FLOODING HIS FALLOPIAN TUBES WITH A BOUNTY OF BONER BEARNAISE. ELTON HOWLED LIKE A BLUES VOCALIST WITH PAIN AND PLEASURE AS HE BOUNCED ATOP MY METER-LONG MAN MONUMENT, UNTIL HE WAS INTERNALLY INFLATED BY AN INFLUX OF COCK-CREATED COOLWHIP. THE CHIRP ON HIS RECENTLY RECEIVED NEXTEL HANDSET INDICATED THAT IT WAS TIME FOR HIS NEXT, AND FIRST JOB FOR ME. ELTON JOHN NOW WORKS FOR ME IN MARKETING HIMSELF ON THE CORNER. I GUARANTEE IT.

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