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:	post by Christraper at 2005-06-15 12:16:13

I had a serious case of the farts this morning! Enough to feel the need to post a thread about it. It started when I woke up. I got out of bed and let a nasty one rip that scared my cat but I didnt really feel like I needed to shit so I didnt act on it. Then on my way to work my ass starts squeekin out these little SBD's that make my fuckin eyes water.
When I finally got to work things seemed to have calmed down a bit. I grabbed some breakfast, sat down at my desk and started working. Then little by little more and more ass burps started wheezin their way out of my butthole. I had alot of work to do at my desk so I really didnt care because nobody would be able to smell it unless they carelessly wandered into my cubicle. I figured there couldnt be much more in there. Im not a big guy, how much gas could a body my size possibly hold anyways? Apparently alot. It came to the point where I could no longer control the volume level of my bowels. They started making quite a bit of noise and there wasnt much I was able to do about it. I finally decided that action must be taken in order to stifle my angry ass. I figured that even though I didnt necessarilly feel like I needed to shit that there must be something up there making this happen otherwise Ive got bigger problems to worry about. So I went on what seemed to be the longest trip to the bathroom Ive ever taken.
I realized as soon as I stood up that I did indeed need to take a monstrous dump. My ass apparently realized where I was going and felt the need to encourage my new-found ambition by farting rather loudly as I walked past everyones cubicle to the bathroom. So in my attempt to protect my fellow workers from the nastiest farts to ever come out of me, I instead showered them with a cloud of methane in a fashion not unlike the nazis in WWII.
I just got back and I feel much better now but we'll see what happens after lunch.

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