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returntothepit >> discuss >> Sonic Pulse shoot your own porno Kickstarter by Dan Hammer on Feb 13,2014 6:33pm
Add To All Your Pages!
toggletoggle post by Dan Hammer at Feb 13,2014 6:33pm
We need your help to finish our new album, make a music video, get fans, learn to write songs that aren't just lazy Gamma Ray retreads, and tour in support!

We have been painstakingly working on our second album, "Coasting on Your Dollar", for two years running now. The album is nearing completion, and we are in need of funds to finish production and bring the album to you and also I'm gonna need some new hair extensions.

We want to give this album a proper release, which means we will be touring, releasing a music video in support, pretending real labels are interested in this shit, and making new merch, probably with lots of anime boobs because we know our fans are functional adults that leave their parents' basement for more than just Cheetos and Magic cards. Maybe there will be a meme! You like those, right? All these things are expensive to do, so we are hoping for some help from you guys, since nobody is honestly going to invest anything in this farce and expect a return.

You'll notice some of our perks are pretty interesting, if you've sustained a long period without oxygen, and that's because we want anyone who's helps us to be involved as much as possible and literally pay to advertise a) our band and b) their gullibility. We want to do this with us in mind and bring you music that will fool you into paying for our hobby.
What We Need & What You Get

These funds will go towards:
1) Production of the "Coasting on Your Dollar" album
2) A music video for your own porn fantasy, "2 girls 1 cup"-style. (Disclaimer: We only have 1.5 girl.)
3) Tours (there is the $7000 West coast incentive, but we're not above milking your parents for more)
4) Hair extensions

So donate now! Because you're just going to waste it on Bitcoins and Naruto fleshlights, anyway.



toggletoggle post by Aerospace Task at Feb 13,2014 8:02pm
Can Arduous Task burn some Jews at this?



toggletoggle post by Haha at Feb 14,2014 12:06pm
Nicely done, you beat me to this.
http://igg.me/at/sonicpulse/x/2540968



toggletoggle post by Dan_Hammer  at Feb 14,2014 12:21pm



toggletoggle post by Real_Dan_Hammer at Feb 14,2014 12:49pm
I like to suck dicks and Lauren is a disgusting skank.



toggletoggle post by RTTP TMZ REPORTER ON DUTY at Feb 14,2014 3:17pm
THIS JUST IN

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR WIFE NAKED



toggletoggle post by Biased Journalism Detector at Feb 14,2014 4:29pm
She's not going to be the one naked in it, I am. -DanHam



toggletoggle post by RTTP TMZ REPORTER ON DUTY at Feb 14,2014 4:47pm
THIS JUST IN

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE DAN HAMMER NAKED EITHER



toggletoggle post by MotleyGrue at Feb 15,2014 2:24am
RTTP%20TMZ%20REPORTER%20ON%20DUTY said[orig][quote]
THIS JUST IN

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR WIFE NAKED


That may be up for debate, is she hot or something?



toggletoggle post by Dingus at Feb 15,2014 10:56am
She's in the video, dingus.



toggletoggle post by Real_Dan_Hammer at Feb 15,2014 12:05pm
Can Sonic Poop get on this?



toggletoggle post by Hammy Sagar at Feb 22,2014 7:59pm
top for the real thread



toggletoggle post by TimRiley_OFFICIAL at Feb 23,2014 7:27am
bump



toggletoggle post by NH Brufaggotry at Feb 23,2014 8:34am
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You are such a faggot Dan Hammer. You owe me $18!



toggletoggle post by DYA is POPCORN COMMISSAR at Feb 23,2014 9:41am
I support this beef.



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