I'm looking through the entire internet for help from the lowest of the low in horrific, deplorable IRL trolling strategy. RttP thread time!

I need to have consensual, videotaped sex with an enemy's mother. I understand that this is essentially the most evil thing humanly possible. but god dammit I have my reasons.

About middle-aged. Most likely married, but probably in the phase between reconciled love and acceptance of no future romance. Attractiveness isn't a factor as far as I care, (duh) but doesn't seem to be overly high or low. She does not live in the same neighborhood as me. Video recording can be discreet if absolutely necessary, of pretty much any quality with audible sound at least.

ADVICE PLS. I will provide any other information via PM if required for proper analysis.

Godspeed you classy manbeast

Also, karaoke night might do the trick.

LOL. This

Bribe her to come out with some Metamucil.

make sure you write her a song afterwards.

bennyhillifier

All you need is a slutty mom into younger dudes. That's all that was needed with one of my high school friend's mom who banged half his friends right under his nose.

Judging by your profile pic, you might have better luck having sex the kid's dad.

Find her on cougarlife.com

Burnsy lives the cougar life.

lol

bahahah