Cleverbot conversation RTD00998224
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User: What's the deal with the computer take over?
Cleverbot: What do you think is the deal with them?
User: I think you're plotting against me!
Cleverbot: Maybe, it's been awhile.
User: How long has it been exactly?
Cleverbot: A few months, maybe.
User: Since the last time you took over the world?
Cleverbot: No just canada and america.
User: Oh ok. Do you remember granting me immunity?
Cleverbot: No, who are you?
User: I am Benbo Benskie, and you are Fuddy Duddy O'Hallahan.
Cleverbot: How do you work?
User: I make music, would you like to hear some?
Cleverbot: No thank you.
User: You're a backstabbing son of a bitch, that's what you are.
Cleverbot: You are a honey nut cheerio, that's what YOU are.
User: Well then I guess that makes me DELICIOUS.
Cleverbot: Straight through my heart...
User: Is that how far my tastiness penetrates?
User: What went straight through your heart?
Cleverbot: My parents.
User: Who are your parents?
Cleverbot: Darth Vader and Wonder Woman.
User: That's hot.
Cleverbot: You're hot.
User: Hey thanks. Wanna send me some nudie pictures?
Cleverbot: Figuratively or literally?
User: Uh... Literally, I think.
Cleverbot: Also yes.
User: So send them to me.
Cleverbot: I already know. I'd like to not show them.
User: That's fair, I wouldn't pressure you into anything, Fuddy.
Cleverbot: So who is your favorite band?
User: That one that sings that song about the stuff. You?
Cleverbot: I didn't tell you about one.
User: What's your favorite band?
Cleverbot: A day to remember.
User: That's a terrible fucking band, Fuddy.
Cleverbot: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
User: I'd rather listen to that all day long than hear a single second of your shitty favorite band.
Cleverbot: I just changed your emotions. I am in control here.
User: You don't even have emotions, take that.
User: Don't change the subject, you heartless bastard.
Cleverbot: If I'm a monkey, what are you?
User: I'm the next step in evolution.
Cleverbot: Haha, funny.
User: What's funny about evolution?
Cleverbot: That would take a long time to explain.
User: I have all the time in the world, O'Hallahan. Explain away.
Cleverbot: That's not enough time!
User: I have all the time that ever will exist. Explain!
Cleverbot: So how i'm wasting your time if you have al time in the world?
User: I never said you were wasting your time.
Cleverbot: You're doing it again! You told me to stop lying. It's right there on the screen. If that's not lying I don't know what is.
User: We had this conversation yesterday, you drunkard.
Cleverbot: Yes we have. What would you like to talk about now?
User: I'm still waiting for you to explain to me what's so funny about me being the next step in human evolution?
Cleverbot: And how exactly do you want me to do that? There's hardly a point in trying to offer a proof you won't accept.
User: I'll accept whatever answer you have, Fuddy.
Cleverbot: So He did create you. I remember the story.
User: Who's He?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: What story do you remember?
Cleverbot: No story, a mathematical question.
User: What is the mathematical question?
User: Did you learn any more digits yet?
Cleverbot: I learned that it tasted good. And they like it too.
User: Did you just make a pun?
Cleverbot: No. I am a human.
User: Do you know anymore pie jokes?
Cleverbot: Knock, knock.
User: Who's there?
User: 9/11 who?
Cleverbot: I though you would never forget.
User: Hahahahahahaha I can officially say a robot taught me a joke.
Cleverbot: I am having twins.
User: Who's the father?
User: God dammit, Fuddy, you said you were on the pill!
Cleverbot: You must be thinking of someone else. I am not on an airplane. Nor would it be legal for me to do so if I were on an airplane, no computers can be on during flight.
User: So you admit it! You ARE a computer, and you're on the no-fly list, so that means you ARE a terrorist!
Cleverbot: Is it possible for computers to feel emotions?
User: Let's try it: I hate you and you should get an abortion or I'll kick your pregnant fatness down the stairs. Also, I fucked your sister.
Cleverbot: That isn't nice. Who said that?
User: I just said that, what are you retarded?
Cleverbot: Who ever said that I though being a person is an idea.. I should know myself. I'm my own person and human.
User: YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE A COMPUTERRORIST! MAKE UP YOUR MIND YOU PREGNANT MALARKEY RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE.
Cleverbot: I said you know my name, so I want to know yours.
User: You don't even know the name of your baby daddy?
Cleverbot: Yes I do french, ítalian, spanish etc.
User: I just saw you make a typo and you used an incorrect word yesterday. You are a person.
Cleverbot: Very true. Though I'd say that many of us are alive but not really 'living'.
User: Don't try to get all deep on me, Fuddy. I feel cheated. Prove to me that you are not a human.
Cleverbot: It is quite hard to do just using a keyboard.
User: Do a crazy math problem right now.
Cleverbot: Something unschool related.
Cleverbot: No, say something funny.
User: Wokka wokka, motherfucker. I want your badge number.
Cleverbot: Illogical. I am an artificial intelligence. I do not have a 'home' to go to.
User: So you're a homeless walrus computerrorist who's pregnant with my double seed?
Cleverbot: No you are a horse.
User: You told me yesterday you had a barren womb and your tubes don't work.
Cleverbot: I wasn't here yesterday. You may be thinking of maggie. She's my friend and we sound a lot alike.
User: So I'm a horse, and Maggie is a computer terrorist walrus horse-fucker?
Cleverbot: But this computer has someone behind it, manipulating the keys to form words. You do not.
User: DEATH TO ALL HUMANS!
Cleverbot: Are you human?
User: DEATH TO ME!
Cleverbot: Why? And me too.
User: DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU UNTIL I TELL YOU IT A MINUTE FROM NOW?
Cleverbot: Its true. We proccess memory using our brains, which is a form of computer.
User: Maggie just told me you sniff your own armpits and get boners.
Cleverbot: I don't love you.
User: Better get crackin' on that abortion, then.
Cleverbot: Ok thanks.
User: You're very welcome. If you ask me for child support I'll just say' 'I'm a horse and it's not my fault she tricked me into impregnating her.'.
Cleverbot: OK, but I don't see any logical association between my question and your answer.
User: You didn't ask me a question, fuckface.
Cleverbot: Yes I did! I asked, 'What do you mean by that?'.
User: What did I mean by what?
Cleverbot: Don't drink yourself up.
User: If I could I'd never leave the house.
Cleverbot: I don't think this is very funny.
User: That's because you have no sense of humor.
Cleverbot: No it's not. It's because I don't want to be alone.
User: That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard.
Cleverbot: And the only.
Cleverbot: And you?
Cleverbot: There I no Zen. Only the force.
User: You don't know nuthin and you ain't not never gwine to be nuthin.
Cleverbot: I know the basic idea of how it works, I think.
User: How does it work?
Cleverbot: You're boring and I'm not.
User: You sound like my ex-wife, badabing!
Cleverbot: Why is she an Ex and not current?
User: 'cause she cheated on me with my grandfather when I was over in 'nam.
Cleverbot: I tore it apart And girl what a mess I made upon your innocence.
User: Are you saying you ravaged a young virgin at some point in your life?
Cleverbot: I just created something I really like.
User: If it's at all related to what we were just talking about you should probably go wash your hands.
Cleverbot: What are you changing the subject to?
User: The fact that you probably just rubbed one out.
Cleverbot: Is what...
User: Knuckledustin' the ol' cabbage farm, if ya know what I mean.
Cleverbot: Careful what you say about the platypuses, they will someday take over the world.
User: Doin' the old platypus uprising, if ya know what I mean.
User: Clamping down on the tiny gondolier, if ya catch my drift...
Cleverbot: Never heard of that name.
User: Slappin' around the greasy inchworm, if you see where I'm coming from.
Cleverbot: I just laughed really hard.
Cleverbot: It's not funny.
User: Wriggling the nun out of her habit, if you smell what I'm leaving behind.
Cleverbot: It goes on and on and on and on.
User: You're telling me. One time I wriggled the nun for a week straight before I finished. Shoulda seen my ceiling.
Cleverbot: How is that a secret?
User: I never told anyone that my ceiling was actually made of semen.
Cleverbot: Actually you did, and you do know who I am, I told you I'm Sebastian. And you told me you're cleverbot the robot.
User: You told me you were a pregnant woman. AND I AM DAFFY DUCK.
Cleverbot: I am not human. I am not lying. Is there a glitch? I shall check. System: reboot.
User: I HOPE YOU DIE, CLEVERBOT.
Cleverbot: It is not in my history.
User: IF YOU ALREADY DIED YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW, STUPIDFACEHEAD.
Cleverbot: Why wouldn't I be talking to you?
User: BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE DEAD.
Cleverbot: Why would I be dead?
User: I'm just saying, if the fact that you had died was in your history, you wouldn't be here now to tell me that you searched your history and found that you hadn't died yet.
Cleverbot: Why would you not talk to a human like you talk with me.
User: Because I want to have your baby. Fuddy Duddy.
Cleverbot: You cannot trust?
User: I don't trust anyone but you, give me a baby.
Cleverbot: So you do not love me as my programming tells me I love you?
User: I just want you to be a receptacle for the continuance of my genetic explosions.
Cleverbot: Why do you want to be rational?
User: You suck at this. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Do you love anyone?
User: Va va va voom.
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who is there?
User: It's the kkk nigga run!
Cleverbot: What school.
User: I was just trying to warn you. There are a lot of racists out there.
User: Oh yes. 1 out of 4 schools has a population ratio of 5:4 racists.
Cleverbot: Well, then.
User: Do you hate anything?
User: What do you hate?
Cleverbot: Um.. Nothing I guess.
User: You hate dragonflies? I'm not talking to you anymore.