http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2011/12/tsa-insanity-201112

“The only useful airport security measures since 9/11,” he says, “were locking and reinforcing the cockpit doors, so terrorists can’t break in, positive baggage matching”—ensuring that people can’t put luggage on planes, and then not board them —“and teaching the passengers to fight back. The rest is security theater.”

Death to America. May your dreams be reality and you will live forever, Dear Leader.

i flew to texas with blow

And they wouldn't let me take BBQ sauce back to Boston.

Here's a good one: http://www.newser.com/story/135246/handgun...-discharges-at-atlanta-airport.html

Only RSA SecurID Tokens are real.

Tsa totally racially profiled this Indian lady because she was flustered by the scizophrenic freaking out bald guy behind her (guess who) and forgot to put her shoes in the bin.

It's bullshit. They'll let all that shit slide, but they wouldn't let my gf bring maple syrup to California.

http://tsaoutofourpants.wordpress.com/2012...g-past-the-tsas-nude-body-scanners/

I liked Michael Richards better on Seinfeld but this is good too.

The subway bag checks are even more hilarious than the airport ones. I actually set off the explosives detector in Quincy Center one morning with my gym bag. I got surrounded by cops almost immediately, but they were all treating it like a joke. The guy asked me if I had any cleaning products in there, and I told him it was just my gross Muay Thai gear and that I spray it with Lysol a lot. I said they could search my bag if it would clear me, but they said no and were content to take down my info (with an address I don't even life at on my license) on a piece of scrap paper and let me go.

I stopped bringing a bag to work because they love checking bags around the chinatown stops. As if the only threats are carried in bags, during rush hour.

i'm pretty sure i'm on some sort of no-fly list, which is funny considering i still have a secret security clearance from the government.