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returntothepit >> discuss >> a quick joke by whatweaponsbringwarjp on May 19,2004 3:42am
Add To All Your Pages!
toggletoggle post by whatweaponsbringwarjp   at May 19,2004 3:42am
Every day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th
grade girl's house.
One day he is carrying a football, and he stops to taunt the little girl. He holds up the football and says "See this football? Football is a boy's game and girls can't have one!" The little girl runs in the house crying
and tells her mother about the encounter.. She runs out and
buys the girl a football. The next day the boy is riding home on his bike, and the girl shows him the football, yelling "Nah na nah na nah!" The little boy gets mad and points to his bike. "See this bike?This is a boy's bike, and girls can't have them!" Next day, the boy comes by and the little girl is riding a new boy's
bike. Now he is really mad. He drops his pants, points at his most private of parts, and says "You see THIS? Only BOYS have these and your mother can't go buy you
one!" The next day as he passes the house he asks the little girl, "Well, what do you have to say NOW?"
So she pulls up her dress and says...
My mother told me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"



toggletoggle post by Pat Meebles at May 19,2004 4:01am
Joe has dinner with his buddy dan and his wife. During dinner, Joe drops his napkin under the table. keeling down to get it, he notices his Dan's wife is not wearing any panties. Embarrassed, he quickly gets up and excuses himself to the kitchen to get his head together. Dan's wife soon enters the kitchen too, and asks Joe "Did you see anything under there that you liked?" Joe, embarrased, admits "yes." Dan's wife then says "200 bucks and it's yours." Joe eventually agrees and they agree to meet on a Friday, when Joe gets out of work a few hours earlier than Dan.
Joe stops by that Friday, gives her the 200 bucks, and they fuck for a couple hours. Joe then leaves. An hour later, Dan comes home. He asks his wife "Did my friend stop by today?" His wife starts to think "Oh no, he knows!!" and says "Yes, he did" Dan then says "Did he give you 200 bucks?" His wife gets very nervous, but since she thinks that he knows, she admits "Yes, he did." "Good," Dan said, "He stopped by my office this morning asking to borrow 200 bucks, promising to pay it back and drop it off here on his way home. It's good to know that you have friends you can trust."



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at May 19,2004 9:41am
Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a nice day to be moving"

New Neighbor: "Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly"

Neighbor 1: "So what is it you do for a living?"

New Neighbor: "I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning"

Neighbor 1: "Deductive reasoning, what is that?

"New Neighbor: "Let me give you and example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog."

Neighbor 1: "That is right"

New Neighbor: "The fact that you have a dog, Leads me to deduce that you have a family.

Neighbor 1: "Right again"

New Neighbor: "Since you have a family I deduce that you have a wife"

Neighbor 1: "Correct"

New Neighbor: "And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual"

Neighbor 1: "Yup"

New Neighbor: "That is deductive reasoning"

Neighbor 1: "Cool"


Later that same day


Neighbor 1: "Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door"

Neighbor 2: "Is he a nice guy?"

Neighbor 1: "Yes, and he has an interesting job"

Neighbor 2: "Oh, yeah what does he do?"

Neighbor 1: "He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University"

Neighbor 2: "Deductive reasoning, what is that"

Neighbor 1: "Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?"

Neighbor 2: "No"

Neighbor 1: "Fag."



toggletoggle post by Josh_hates_you  at May 19,2004 9:48am
2 necrophiliacs are walking through a cemetary and one says to the other " so what happened to the chick you where dating last week?

the 2nd necro says " that rotten cunt split on me last week"



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at May 19,2004 10:05am
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:
Neighbor 1: "Fag."


unfortunately, it's not funny cause you broke one of the first rules of deductive reasoning.
damn me for taking too many math classes



toggletoggle post by swamplorddvm  at May 19,2004 12:01pm
"god"



toggletoggle post by JellyFish at May 19,2004 12:05pm
hahahaa



toggletoggle post by silky  at May 19,2004 4:17pm
q: how do you get a horny dog to stop humping your leg?
a: pick it up and suck it's dick.



toggletoggle post by Dissector   at May 19,2004 4:24pm
These are all awesome/



toggletoggle post by MyDeadDoll   at May 19,2004 6:58pm
that totally made me day. i came home all cranky since work sucked.



toggletoggle post by josiah_the_black  at May 19,2004 7:33pm
i posted this in another thread

whats the best part about having sex with twentysix year olds?

there's twenty of them



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at May 19,2004 8:44pm
the_reverend said:
unfortunately, it's not funny cause you broke one of the first rules of deductive reasoning.
damn me for taking too many math classes


:( i'll just stick to dead baby jokes from now on.



toggletoggle post by silky  at May 19,2004 9:47pm
Q: what's the best part about molesting an eight-year-old boy?
A: watching him break down on the witness stand.



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