Have no idea who the fuck this kid is, clearly I'm a wrong number:

401-516-xxx: it ray how uve been
401-516-xxx: hey whats up its ray how you've been
DYA: Not bad dude who the fuck is ray?
401-516-xxx: the one u went to school with
DYA: Oh

So what's up
401-516-xxx: nothing much staying out of truble and getting life strating out
DYA: I hear that, tryin' to do the same. How are Egon and Peter?

I'll post more if this goes anywhere.

Sorry, I'm really bored this morning.

even if it doesn't progress to more hilarity, I would already flag this as a success.

I wish you could get a pick of him staring at his phone, mouth agape, for the next 20 minutes trying to figure out who the fuck Egon and Peter are.

I hope he has friends named Egon and Peter and the joke is lost on him

Yeah dude keeps txting me with retarded "FW this to 18 true friends" shit, clearly a smarty. I'll bounce a few more off his head later. LOL

did he ask you to send $2 to happy dude?

DYA: Make this idiot suffer

i did watxh lost so this could be you from the future.

lol@Egon

why didn't you ask him about winston, YOU FUCKIN RAC1TS?!!?!?

bennyhillifier

Ray LOLcow: it ray how uve been
Ray LOLcow: hey whats up its ray how you've been
DYA: Not bad dude who the fuck is ray?
Ray LOLcow: the one u went to school with
DYA: Oh

So what's up
Ray LOLcow: nothing much staying out of truble and getting life strating out
DYA: I hear that, tryin' to do the same. How are Egon and Peter?
Ray LOLcow: idk i live in prov now
DYA: Prov, huh - I guess with Lovecraft's grave and all there's plenty of demand for ur services. Gotta go where the work is, right?
Ray LOLcow: some what i guess
Ray LOLcow: how is ur single life
Ray LOLcow: ill be down there next week
Ray LOLcow: txt me later

Then over the next few days he forwards me all kinds of AIDS-infested email FWDs and crap.

DYA: Hey that's cool I actually had something I wanted you to take a look at. (Haha lol)
Ray LOLcow: okay when
Ray LOLcow: what r u talking about
DYA: Kind of embarrassng, but... its in my bedroom? LOL
Ray LOLcow: thats okay
DYA: I mean... You have equipment for.. Um... Containment, don't you?
Ray LOLcow: i should
Ray LOLcow: ill get some on the frist
Ray LOLcow: what time do u go to bed
Ray LOLcow: ill have some on tuesday can u waite until then

I lose interest temporarily (rather eventful week or two on my end), during which time he periodically texts me things like "whats up", "how was ur day", and "wut time u go to bed", heedless of my lack of responses. So finally today:

Ray LOLcow: whats up
DYA: OMG i was hoping you'd txt can u come over?
Ray LOLcow: im at home in prov what r u doin tom
DYA: Look things are really crazy over here, could you bring a friend?
DYA: It's really messy, there's slime everywhere
Ray LOLcow: i dont have any friends over here
DYA: It would probably be good if he was a gruff yet affable black man
Ray LOLcow: that sucks i would say that u can come here
DYA: Also make sure u guys wear those jumpsuits
DYA: Just don't "cross the streams" if u know what i mean

That would be bad
Ray LOLcow: no what do u mean
DYA: WHO IS THIS
Ray LOLcow: ray
DYA: ARE YOU A GOD?
Ray LOLcow: i dont know y
DYA: THEN DIE!
Ray LOLcow: who is this
DYA: GOZER
DYA: GOZER THE GOZERIAN
Ray LOLcow: where is dawn
DYA: THE HUMAN KNOWN AS DAWN IS NO MORE, THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
Ray LOLcow: u r losing it
Ray LOLcow: r u okay
DYA: THE CHOICE HAS BEEN MADE
Ray LOLcow: what chouice
DYA: THE TRAVELLER HAS COME!!!
Ray LOLcow: what traveller


MMS MESSAGE FROM DYA TO RAY LOLCOW:

Hahaha! Fucking awesome

"DYA: It would probably be good if he was a gruff yet affable black man"

Haha - this kid is clearly retarded if he hasn't caught on yet.

lolz git off tha fone Zuul!

This is an instant classic.

hahahaha

epic'ly rule #34'd

agree'd

WHAT THE HELL I JUST GOT ANOTHER TEXT

so good hahah howd i miss this all day at work?

I'm considering just sending him a reply containing only the url of this thread.

Do it or your a pussy. Also, post his phone number.

do a reverse ARP on that shit and find out where this twit lives

"DYA: I mean... You have equipment for.. Um... Containment, don't you?
Ray LOLcow: i should
Ray LOLcow: ill get some on the frist
Ray LOLcow: what time do u go to bed
Ray LOLcow: ill have some on tuesday can u waite until then "

Lulz, you're getting wrong numbered from someone's drug dealer.