Tech death/black metal/grindcore musicians looking for qualified dedicated member to fill bass position Pro Gear essential. transportation prefered. Willing to practice 2-3 times a week. Familiarity and ability essential. Our influences are Whitechapel, Carnifex, Devourment, Black Dahlia Murder, Vital Remains, Psyopus, Slayer, Immortal, Emperor, Gorgoroth, Cradle of Filth, Suicide Silence, All Shall Perish, Hate Eternal, N'Sync..... All That Remains, As I Lay Dying, Unearth, Impending Doom, Through the Eyes of the Dead, Killswitch Engage, Behemoth, Nile, Lamb of God. Please call Shawn at 603 341 5252 or Casey at 603 682 5663.

" magazine metal band seeks bassist "

"My boyfriend and I like to experiment with various recreational chemicals, but sometimes when we're coming down (like now) we don't want to go out, but we really really really want some sort of obscure, horrible fast food item. We used to have a friend that would bring us stuff and not expect much in return, but he moved away. We would like a replacement for him. We don't want to DO drugs with you, but we are perfectly willing to hook you up or bake you cookies (when we're sober) or listen to you whine about how no girls like you (as our old Tender of the Druggies did). We don't want you to stay overly long, either. Bring us stuff, chill for maybe fifteen minutes (longer if we aren't obviously exchanging looks or hinting about how tired we are or how NO WE DO NOT WANT A CUDDLE THREESOME), be on your way. We are chill people and really would like to be your friend, but this works better if you are some sort of unlikable loser, eager to please and be accepted, have lots of spare time and few friends, and are socially retarded in some other manner-- thus you are fine with an abusive, exploitative relationship of you fetching us NOMS."

yay phone numbers.

you get points for mentioning N'Sync. Now if the music doesn't include at least one song/reference to N'Sync, I'll be very disappointed!

lol

yeah they are one of my main influences... hahaha

KILL YOUR INFLUENCES AND START A CONCRETE FUCKING PROJECT