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New site? Maybe some day.
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And kinda looks like fred durst? |
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He is an old bastard, I think he's like 57 now or something. |
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dude i heard like 147. it's a little known secret that the st. lawrence is actually the fountain of youth. |
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He's 3 days older than baseball. |
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3 space days. they're longer than regular days. |
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he's as old as Mr. Burns. there are wood carvings of those 2 attending shows. |
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I heard his mother went to grade school with Jesus Christ. |
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that isn't that old...wasn't jesus born in the 70s? |
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1989:
Look at those posters!
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is that a cuneiform skid row poster back there? |
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Ah, the long lost Slayer heiroglyph. |
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When Dwyer saw the Cro-Mags, it was just a bunch of hairy dudes bandging rocks together. They used sticks for breakdowns. |
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Flipping camera off is metal and tuff. |
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hey...give him credit. he was the first person to ever do it. |
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dwyer is so paradoxically old that he creates anomalies in space and time |
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Nice fucking Skid Row poster. Is that dried cum holding it to the wall? |
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Woke up to the sound of poooouuuring raaaiin... |
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I am 35 years old, not too far behind Dwyer, so back off us geezers negrodamus! |
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They just discovered cave paintings of Larry King holdings hands with Dwyer while they hunted mastadons near Niagra Falls. Rumor as it that Dwyer was attemping to hunt them again and it made the news. |
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Dwyer was the mid-wife for the birth of Bob Hope. |
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When Dwyer saw the Cro-Mags, it was just a bunch of hairy dudes bandging rocks together. They used sticks for breakdowns. |
hahahahahahahahaha A+ |
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wow. you guys are brutal. |
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it's all in good fun, sir. john can start a "bald, fat, and obnoxiously arrogant" thread about me if he so desires. |
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Nice fucking Skid Row poster. Is that dried cum holding it to the wall? |
Thats awesome. |
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Dwyer saw the 1st episode of Matlock as its television debut. |
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I take fiber -- the shits are AMAZING. |
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Dwyer helped create the 2012 myth. |
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Ahaha, we wrote this right after Euronymous was killed!
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This thread is hilarious. Top drawer material all around. |
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Does that say "BUTTERING THE INNOCENT"? |
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I miss the era of lyrics of this quality. |
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he's as old as Mr. Burns. there are wood carvings of those 2 attending shows. |
Mr Burns's social security number is
000 00 0002. guess who is 000 00 0001 |
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Dwyer invented the pedicure after splitting too many nails driving his Flintstones car. |
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Old nigger couldn't ollie an ant! |
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Dwyer is so old that in 1692 he was considered a pedophile. |
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Hahaha, I love this thread.
Dwyer invented the English language, which is why he is so astute in correcting everyone's spelling and grammar. |
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Dwyer you are not alone and Iuse to have some of those cool posters.. the slayer carboard, testment and sepultura sick old school when thrash was thrash! |
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Dwyer used to change Satan's diapers. |
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Dwyer invented being Jewish. |
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Dwyer saw the first time a woman was ever naked. |
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Dwyer's mom was actually a brontosaurus |
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Dwyer is the missing link. |
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Dwyer can divide by zero. |
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Dwyer came...only once. He has ED. |
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The two on the couch look taken aback by this turn of events. |
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Dwyer faked the first orgasm. |
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john dwyer is living the dream. |
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Dwyer invented dreams and subsequently nightmares, as many females have seen him there. |
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1987:
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Dwyer invented the camera so he could post pictures of himself since the beginning of time for all to see. |
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Dwyer faked the first orgasm. |
HAHAHAH
WINNAR! |
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Dwyer wrote the bible so he could make fun of people who read it. |
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Those lyrics were written on the back of the magna carta. |
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Hahahahaha...excellent work Drew.
Dwyer was Moses' chief advisor when he had to write the 10 Commandments. Thou shalt not steal was originally Thou shalt not steal music, thou shalt buy it from my distro. A compromise was made. |
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Dwyer wants a cup of coffee with lots of cream. |
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Holy fuck, this thread is amazing. |
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Where's MY Wiki page?
The John Dwyer in Prov from THE COACHMEN has one and he didn't almost go over Niagara!
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ahahaha this thread made my night. |
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Dwyer taught Australiopithecus Apharensus (sp?) how to wipe. |
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1987:
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Nice shirt Dwyer. Were you auditioning for Loverboy?
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Dwyer is really the one who impregnated The "Virigin" Mary. She was so appalled by her actions that she told her husband it happened from the "hand" of God. Dwyer also took pictures afterward. |
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Dwyer is the father of humanity. |
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But Dwyer is the Grandfather of mankind |
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It was dwyer's idea to put the cowbell in Don't Fear The Reaper. |
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the big bang occurred when dwyer farted for the first time |
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Dwyer originally named the song "BUYMYMERCHBUYMYMERCHBUYMYMERCH" but the label didn't approve. So he just started his own and thats how Pathos Productions was formed est. Stonehedge. |
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Seriously Dwyer, the guy 2nd from the right wants his shirt back.
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Dwyer put the bomp in the bomp shabomp. |
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Wasn't Dwyer a Pharaoh in Ancient Egypt? |
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Dwyer build the pyramids of Giza. |
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Dwyer is the process of aging itself. |
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Dwyer invented the first butt plug. |
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Dwyer created homosexuality. |
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Dwyer created homosexuality. |
This actually made me laugh. Simplicity wins. |
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Dwyer is responsible for the extinction of dodo birds. Way to go, asshole. |
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this is the first time the world had seen art, and it was solely because dwyer wanted to convince his peers that he hangs out with females. |
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Dwyer invented females so because he was sick of taking pictures with dudes. |
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Dwyer gave us Culture Club. Suck a dick! |
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Dwyer also discovered fire. |
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You know who invented the wheel? Well, it wasn't Dwyer but he's still old as dirt. |
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not old as dirt...he NAMED dirt...and most of the things we recognize today.
it's also been said that opposable thumbs were created solely for running a merch booth. |
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[Dec 24,2008 10:51am - MarkFuckingRichards]
Dwyer taught Australopithecus Afarensis how to walk.
(funny cause A. Afarensis is the first hominin biped... paleoanthropology humor, fuck you) |
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[Dec 24,2008 10:51am - MarkFuckingRichards]
Dwyer taught Australopithecus Afarensis how to walk.
(funny cause A. Afarensis is the first hominin biped... paleoanthropology humor, fuck you) |
That's why I said it. But, I said WIPE. To throw everyone off. |
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1987:
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Nice shirt Dwyer. Were you auditioning for Loverboy?
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Dwyer is the one singing with the bad brains shirt. Not the goofy duck with the guitar.
Off topic: John Ill be in Newport tonight... Any thing going on? |
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Goofy fuck I meant. My gay iPod corrected me and wrote duck. I hate posting on RTtP a this thing. |
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Dwyer used to sell phonograph cylinders in his distro. |
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Wasn't Dwyer the waitress at the Last Supper? |
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Hahahahaha, I believe he was. |
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Dwyer is the one singing with the bad brains shirt. Not the goofy duck with the guitar. |
Oh.
So why was Dwyer in a band with the guy from Loverboy?
And why is he making that expression on his face? Looks like the Loverboy guy just fucked him up the ass and failed to reciprocate with a reach-around. |
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Dwyer put the bomp in the bomp shabomp. |
Right before he put the ram in the ramalama ding dong |
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or was it the "dip" in the dip-de-dip-de-dip? |
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Dwyer went bald two minutes after Ric Flair got his first grey hair. |
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He inventeted 8 tracks. Thanks for nothing! |
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Dwyer knew the old man in the mountain when he was the young man in the mountain. |
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Dwyer shot Kennedy, and was a Nazi during the big one. |
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1978, obsessed by BLACK SABBATH already, thanks mom.
I was 16 X-Mas 22 years ago, 1986 with my Great-Grandfather, R.I.P:
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dwyer was the first person ever caught in a mosh |
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Dwyer taught Santa how to deliver the Xmas presents to little boys and girls. |
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Dwyer is so old that his original phone # was 2. |
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dwyer was in the plane with buddy holly, richie valens, and the big bopper. there was only one parachute. |
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Dwyer won the Indy 500 riding a bike...and the Lil' Indy Bike Race in an Indy Car. |
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dwyer wore old spice when it was simply known as spice. |
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I was 16 X-Mas 22 years ago, 1986 with my Great-Grandfather, R.I.P:
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Dwyer on the right. |
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Dwyer is so old that he made a guest appearance in The Land Before Time. |
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This thread is a blast while board at work haha.
Dwyer is so old that he knows the chicken came first. |
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The chicken nor the egg came first. It was Dwyer. |
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Dwyer set up his table at the Battle of Hastings. At the time the only item in Pathos' distro was Saxon's Wheels of Steel, sales were disappointing. |
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Dwyer got sponsored by Jimmy'z back when they made chariots. I heard he tore shit up on the Circus Maximus mini ramp. |
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Braveheart is based on Dwyers life. |
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jesus signed john's yearbook when john was a senior and jesus was a freshman... i saw it. john was on the yearbook staff too... he has a ton of pics of himself with the ladies... and jesus off to the side...and im sure he will post them if you ask! |
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Dwyer is not the President of the Hairclub For Men, nor he is he a member. |
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thats because he is the orignal poster child for the hairclub for men... |
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Dwyer lost his hair before bald was beautiful. |
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jesus signed john's yearbook when john was a senior and jesus was a freshman... i saw it. john was on the yearbook staff too... he has a ton of pics of himself with the ladies... and jesus off to the side...and im sure he will post them if you ask! |
yeah but after he took the pictures the church painted over all the women |
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Dwyer saw the Loch Ness Monster hatch. |
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Dwyer is the missing link. |
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Dwyer is the missing link. |
to bad someone already said that gangster. |
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Dwyer knew Father Christmas when he was Son Christmas. |
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The Phaedo *SPOILERS*
The hemlock Socrates ate? Dwyer planted it. |
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Caesar really said, "Et tu, Dwyer?" |
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dwyer voted for george washington at the first election. |
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george washington voted for dwyer in the first test election |
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Druids were once known as Dwyers. |
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it wasnt zeus that imprisoned the titans, it was dwyer |
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dwyer actually ages backwards, like brad pitt. so in reality he's only 8 |
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Oh, the famous BEXTRA emerges!
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In medieval times, Dwyer carried the Black Death in his distro. |
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the T in dwyer's middle name stands for t-rex which dwyer has evolved from. in that picture is a victim he stepped on, just like in the dinosaurs attack trading cards. |
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Krampus is Dwyer's younger brother. |
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Dwyer came up with the concept for Cadillacs and Dinosaurs based on his own experiences in the late Triassic period. |
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Dwyer was around when the Labrea (sp?) tar pit was just the Labrea tar puddle. |
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The Bible is a selection of Dwyer misquotes. |
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Dwyer actually intended to go over Niagara Falls that fateful day, only his calculations put him exactly where the falls would have been...12,000 years ago. |
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ahahahaha
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Old nigger couldn't ollie an ant! |
20 years ago...
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Dwyer actually intended to go over Niagara Falls that fateful day, only his calculations put him exactly where the falls would have been...12,000 years ago. |
hahahahahahahahahaha |
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the Balrog of Morgoth considers Dwyer "old school". |
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Old nigger couldn't ollie an ant! |
20 years ago...
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Dwyer remembers when doing a boneless was "progressive" |
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Dwyer's so old that "Is that rain???" is the topic of every thread he posts. |
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Dwyer uses a hokey to vacuum. |
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Dwyer is earth vader's father |
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Dwyer coached oil can Boyd in little league |
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Darth vader. Damn iPhone spelly thing |
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dwyer is going to that cro mags show tonight, sporting his original cro mags tunic. made from 100% mammoth hide. |
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We invented skateboards and the wheel.
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Earth Vader was around before space travel was possible...and his father was dwyer. |
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We need more old people jokes. |
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AD stands for After Dwyer. |
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ok i gotta stop reading this at work ive actually LOL'd 3 times and ROFL where i had to leave the office and get some air.
this shit is solid gold, MFR hats off to you sir. |
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AD stands for After Dwyer. |
LOL thats good |
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the Sun is actually Dwyer's first birthday candle. |
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Dwyer is the official scribe of the papyrus containing the spell to preserve its possessor against attacks from he who is in the water. |
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Alexander Graham Bell had Dwyer on speed dial.
Dwyer sunk the city of Atlantis because they wouldn't let him set up a merch table there.
Dwyer's first record was a Thomas Edison / Dark Angel split 7".
Dwyer is so old he was around for the first I'm Thirsty Production show. |
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he's so old that he used to rape some jew loving dude named gaius julius caesar augustus germanicus. I wonder how that turned out. |
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Alexander Graham Bell had Dwyer on speed dial.
Dwyer sunk the city of Atlantis because they wouldn't let him set up a merch table there.
Dwyer's first record was a Thomas Edison / Dark Angel split 7".
Dwyer is so old he was around for the first I'm Thirsty Production show. |
These made me PFFFFF wicked hahd kehd. |
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