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returntothepit >> discuss >> Annihilating the bathroom at work appreciation by MarkFuckingRichards on Dec 16,2008 8:37am
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toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 8:37am
So I've been drinking this tea that acts as a system flush, and I definitely just showed the bathroom here at work a thing or two about a thing or two. Just so it knows I mean business, I'll be returning around lunch time to lay down the brown once again. Everyone's day is now ruined and I laugh.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Dec 16,2008 8:38am
bring a gameboy.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 8:41am
I play BrickBreaker.



toggletoggle post by largefreakatzero at Dec 16,2008 8:45am
I pooped out a whole piece of roasted red pepper this morning. I turned around to flush, saw red and thought I was having a major health issue. Thankfully, only a piece of pepper -- those can now join the list of foods that won't digest (e.g. corn, peanuts, blueberries).



toggletoggle post by ouchdrummer   at Dec 16,2008 8:55am
gross. I have a viral infection. So business is serious. Seriously nasty that is. fucking gross. and it hurts. :(



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 8:56am
These moves are smooth.



toggletoggle post by ouchdrummer   at Dec 16,2008 9:00am
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
These moves are smooth.

Jealous.

I have what i lovingly call constareaha.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 9:01am
Haha, no good. I'm just dropping brown bombs at will.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Dec 16,2008 9:04am
today you are playing mudblaster not brickblater



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Dec 16,2008 9:05am
blaster



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 9:09am
Truth.



toggletoggle post by dftg at Dec 16,2008 9:15am
whats the name of that system flush tea?



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 9:24am
Smooth Move, from Whole Foods.



toggletoggle post by ouchdrummer   at Dec 16,2008 9:26am
wow, it's called smooth move? That's sweet.



toggletoggle post by dftg at Dec 16,2008 9:28am
haha

I just had a conversation with one of the secretaries here to ask her why the office bathroom is now off-limits for everyone but the office workers...apparently somebody's been shitting on the toilet seat in there or something. I need to find a different job.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 9:54am
Hahahahaha amazing!



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 10:00am
Yesterday when I took a shit at work there was shit on the toilet tank. Fucking sweet.



toggletoggle post by timma at Dec 16,2008 10:06am
Yesterday I went in to take a leak, and there was some dude stankin up the joint so fucking bad. So I'm just chillin' taking a piss and all the sudden this guy SMASHES the toilet bowl via butt mud and lets out this pathetic sounded wimper afterwards. I then started to pee really hard from trying to hold on my laughter.



toggletoggle post by dftg at Dec 16,2008 10:09am
Way back when I was working in a mexican restaraunt, I was heading towards the bathroom and right before I walked through the door, some huge fat pakistani practically runs out of there, like he's in a big hurry for some reason. I walked into the room and it literally felt like I got punched in the nose, the stench was so intense.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 10:11am
The dudes that work here must eat some of the most rancid food ever. After any of them get off the pot, it smells like a dumpster full of dairy products on a humid day in July.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Dec 16,2008 10:29am
dftg said[orig][quote]
haha

I just had a conversation with one of the secretaries here to ask her why the office bathroom is now off-limits for everyone but the office workers...apparently somebody's been shitting on the toilet seat in there or something. I need to find a different job.


that happened at my job, only it was someone kept shitting on the women's room floor. it happened 5 times, so they shut down the upstairs womens room, and the person started doing it downstairs. they never found the person, so i have dubbed them the Serial Phantom Shit Ninja.



toggletoggle post by metal_church101  at Dec 16,2008 11:39am



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Dec 16,2008 12:26pm
In the process as we speak. text.rttp.poopin.com



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Dec 16,2008 12:29pm
its even more fun when the president of the company is sitting in the next stall over.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 16,2008 12:32pm
I'm eating broccoli pie for lunch. Round two is going to be so punishing for the porcelain.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 8:22am
The punishment continues. First I dropped a pound and a half in my own commode at 6:30 this morning, but my colon is not satisfied. The path of destruction has continued back to the bathroom at work, and once again, everyone's day is ruined except for mine. SUCCESS.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 9:08am
I love this fucking thread! I think everyone should put a post up here! Nothing is better than dropping the load of a life time at work!



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 9:10am
Justice my brotha. Let the shit flow.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 9:19am
I drank some land o lakes hot choclate, so I used 2 packs so it was extra thick! I was in the bathroom for over a 1/2 hour, people knocking on the door, the putrid smell leaking from the bottom of the door, it was an amazing load!



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 9:29am
Hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts definitely produces similar results. I refrain from DD though, since I'm not too much a fan of diarrhea.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 9:33am
Yes diarrhea is not a fun past time



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 9:34am

I thought this would be appropiate with the holiday season coming up



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 10:14am
Yea I was taking ANOTHER dump this morning and reading one of the reading material provided, and all of a sudden one of the girls from the office just walked in. Probably one of the most embarrasing moments of my life. But i'm over it already



toggletoggle post by dftg at Dec 17,2008 10:16am
did it stink?



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 10:20am
Haha, is it a unisex bathroom?



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 10:20am
Well I dont know to be sure. I dont think it was that bad but she may of thought so



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 10:21am
Yea its a unisex bathroom, the girls have their own bathroom but there is a extra bathroom just in case



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 10:28am
Haha, that fucking blows. Although the women that work here could walk into the men's room and I wouldn't be able to tell any difference.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 10:31am
AT least she wasn't hot or anything, then I would really feel stupid! You know the easy part is over, the hard part is having to face her everday knowing that she walked in on me pooping. We are going to have to pretend like it never happend.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 10:36am
You should say, "Oh hey, remember that time you saw me laying cable? We should do that again sometime."



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 10:44am
Hahaha, thats funny shit. I think I'd probably get a sexual harrasment lawsuit against me. She's the human resource lady at the office. I feel small now



toggletoggle post by dftg at Dec 17,2008 10:51am
was the door locked?



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 10:51am
She's the one that didn't knock. She wanted your shit, dude.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 11:00am
Hahaha, your right. I thought the door was locked. ITs one of those locks that you never know if its really locked or not. Its funny how the most embarrasing moments of your life can be prevented with the push of a button.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 11:05am
I'm just going to start shitting with the door open.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 11:13am
That would make me feel so much better



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 11:32am
oh boy, me and the girl from the office just crossed paths. It was very uncoftorable



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 11:42am
You might as well just kill her.



toggletoggle post by c.DeAD at Dec 17,2008 11:47am
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
I'm just going to start shitting with the door open.


That made me lol. That would be so funny.



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Dec 17,2008 11:52am
AnotherMetalDrummer said[orig][quote]
AT least she wasn't hot or anything, then I would really feel stupid! You know the easy part is over, the hard part is having to face her everday knowing that she walked in on me pooping. We are going to have to pretend like it never happend.


that happened when i was younger and just met my new hot step-cousin. 15 years later and its still awkward running into her.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 11:52am
I'm seriously considering it, since the idiots here barge in anyway.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 11:53am
You wanna know the even funnier part? When I was done, I had to flush the toilet like 5 times because I had one of those nuggets that just dont go down. Damn those little nuggets



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 11:55am
AnotherMetalDrummer said[orig][quote]
AT least she wasn't hot or anything, then I would really feel stupid! You know the easy part is over, the hard part is having to face her everday knowing that she walked in on me pooping. We are going to have to pretend like it never happend.


It sucks too because I started working here like a 3 weeks ago so I am going to be known as the new guy who got walked in while he was taking a dump! I feel so small



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 12:07pm
I'd feel like a fucking champ. It's not you who has the image of a man shitting burned into your brain, haha.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 12:14pm
hahahah thats awseome. Your making me feel warm inside



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 12:17pm
And hey, just remember you're not the dude known for humping a tree like one of the guys I work with.

Speaking of that dude, he asked me today if it's wrong to fantasize about Beethoven...the St. Bernard from the movie.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 12:22pm
HAHAHAH, now thats just disturbing! Is he like Dwight Schrewd from the Office?



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 12:25pm
He's more like Milton from Office Space if anything, only he speaks and it's always about fucking things that shouldn't be fucked, or assholes.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 12:31pm
oh yea that must be really fun. lol, weirdo



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 12:37pm
He's sitting right across from me eating a tub of steak.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 12:40pm
mmmmmmmmm steak



toggletoggle post by ZenErik   at Dec 17,2008 12:48pm
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
I play BrickBreaker.

What's your high score?

So far the best I've done is only 24,730.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 1:01pm
Your high score dwarfs mine, haha. I'm only up to 10K. But, I've only been playing for a week or two.



toggletoggle post by ScmFck at Dec 17,2008 1:42pm
uhhh.......much beer and whiskey last night + wendys mushroom swiss burger for lunch = obscene noxious fumes eminating from my anus....soon to give way for a masterpiece painted on a porcelain canvas



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 1:49pm
words of a true artist



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 1:56pm
I'm so proud of RTTP for sharing their shit.



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Dec 17,2008 2:22pm
ScmFck said[orig][quote]
uhhh.......much beer and whiskey last night + wendys mushroom swiss burger for lunch = obscene noxious fumes eminating from my anus....soon to give way for a masterpiece painted on a porcelain canvas


haha the jacobson brothers were vomitting with the fury last night.



toggletoggle post by ScmFck at Dec 17,2008 2:37pm
fuckn gingers, can't handle their booze



toggletoggle post by orgymf@work at Dec 17,2008 2:46pm
any of you guys ever take straight psyllium?
not the metamucil with 1.5% psyllium, but straight up shredded psyllium seed and husk.

if not, you must try it.
go to trader joes
find a can with an egyptian style art design, it will say "secrets of the psyllium"

mix 2 table spoons with 12 ounces of water in a large cup.....stir quickly, chug immediately (it goes down rough, but if you wait too long, it turns into a gelatinous, semi-solid, hard to swallow substance)

within 8 hours, you will be farting like crazy
within 12-24 you will take the biggest and most relieving shit of your life.
it leaves little mess behind (minimal wiping needed)
and the craziest part is, it lubes it self, so even though it is the biggest shit you have ever taken, it does not hurt or require much pushing.

and when it's all done.....you feel better.....you feel lighter... you're almost happier to be alive



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 2:51pm
wow, that sounds like something I DONT wanna try lol....thanks for the tip tho



toggletoggle post by orgymf@work at Dec 17,2008 2:54pm
hah....your loss bro.
i'm tellin ya, that stuff rules.
choking it down sucks.
but the resulting shit is a life changing experience



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 2:57pm
That's how I've been feeling after all the shits I've been taking. The tea that has been causing it has Senna leaves.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 3:01pm
I love it how we can talk shit all day



toggletoggle post by orgymf@work at Dec 17,2008 3:03pm
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
That's how I've been feeling after all the shits I've been taking. The tea that has been causing it has Senna leaves.


senna leaves huh.
i'll have to look into that.
any product that makes shitting even more enjoyable is amazing



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 3:06pm
This tea has me shitting pieces of dead intestines. Fucking amazing.



toggletoggle post by orgymf@work at Dec 17,2008 3:09pm
nice...
i will look for some immediately



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 3:10pm
Whole Foods dude...Smooth Move is the name of it.



toggletoggle post by orgymf@work at Dec 17,2008 3:15pm
sweet.
thanks.
i think there is a whole foods in pawtucket.
may just go today



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 3:31pm
DO IT! DO IT NAOW!



toggletoggle post by Mess at Dec 17,2008 3:34pm
yes, i've used smooth move before. it will destroy you inards and make them into refried beans mmmm.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 3:41pm
It's a glorious and uplifting experience. I'm on my 3rd shit of the day.



toggletoggle post by narkybark   at Dec 17,2008 3:44pm
whatever happened to good 'ol Colon Blow?



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 3:49pm
Alright now I am getting intrigued. I am going to get some of that stuff when I get out of work.



toggletoggle post by Mess at Dec 17,2008 3:51pm
i sorta tastes like liqrish



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 3:52pm
It's a fucking revolution.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 3:54pm
What happend to the good old days of Ex lax and such products



toggletoggle post by Dave_Maggot   at Dec 17,2008 3:56pm
i'm drinking the smooth move right now



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 17,2008 3:57pm
Your gonna be loving it in a couple of hours



toggletoggle post by Dave_Maggot   at Dec 17,2008 4:00pm
hopefully



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 4:05pm
Provided the tea is brewed right, it takes 6-12 hours to kick in.



toggletoggle post by niccolai   at Dec 17,2008 8:25pm
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
So I've been drinking this tea that acts as a system flush, and I definitely just showed the bathroom here at work a thing or two about a thing or two. Just so it knows I mean business, I'll be returning around lunch time to lay down the brown once again. Everyone's day is now ruined and I laugh.



Oh great. now he's drinking herbal teas.


You have now officially taken the last step toward becoming a psuedo-intelectual.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 17,2008 8:31pm
Herbal tea that makes you shit isn't thaaat close to pseudo-intellectual.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Dec 18,2008 7:41am
yeah no negative words can be spoken against something that cleans out your intestines.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 18,2008 8:52am
I did not drink said tea last night since I have job interviews today...but you can expect a full report tomorrow morning of what sort of splendiferous and profligate product is expelled from my innards.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Dec 18,2008 10:35am
i had the absolute worst farts this morning. i kept having to turn my fan on at work.



toggletoggle post by niccolai   at Dec 18,2008 6:55pm
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
Herbal tea that makes you shit isn't thaaat close to pseudo-intellectual.



touche'



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 19,2008 9:07am
I am on massive shit number 2 of the day. I am empty. The toilet is full.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 19,2008 9:45am
I was waiting for a update, I am glad to hear that you are shitting your brains out again!



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 19,2008 9:50am
Haha, me too! Even though I didn't drink the tea the night before last, I still had a copious amount of waste, but this morning's outcome is unrivaled.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 19,2008 9:58am
I'm glad to hear that, nothing like a holiday dump!



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 19,2008 10:13am
The 12 dumps of Christmas.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Dec 19,2008 10:36am
just wait until after the xmas feast. it'll come out like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura 2 from the fake rhino.



toggletoggle post by AnotherMetalDrummer  at Dec 19,2008 10:38am
Love that scene!!!



toggletoggle post by corpus_NLI at Dec 19,2008 10:43am
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
Haha, me too! Even though I didn't drink the tea the night before last, I still had a copious amount of waste, but this morning's outcome is unrivaled.


lol 'outcome.' you could make tom swift blush with that one.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Dec 19,2008 10:44am
Hahahaha, I don't gorge myself at all anymore, even on holidays, but I may do it this year in hopes to recreate that scene.



toggletoggle post by Alx_Casket  at Mar 14,2012 10:44am
I've been pooping way more than what I've eaten these past few days. what's up with that? maybe I'm shedding my winter coat :|



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