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returntothepit >> discuss >> Man Who Has Sex With Table Gets 6 Months by cav nli on Jun 25,2008 1:15pm
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toggletoggle post by cav nli at Jun 25,2008 1:15pm


Man Who Has Sex With Table Gets 6 Months
June 23, 2008 8:05 AM | permalink
Posted by SusieAn Ohio man who went out onto his deck and had sex with his metal picnic table multiple times between January and March of this year, has been sentenced to six months in jail.

Art Price Jr, pictured, admitted to this. A tipster dropped off three DVD's showing this. And according to cops, he also admitted to having intercourse with the table inside the home.

In fact, if the married father of three had not decided to take his amour outside of the house, which happens to be in plain view of an elementary school, chances are that he could've continued to see his flat-chested friend indefinitely.

Instead, thanks to the mysterious Deep Throat of the lawn furniture world, and the tireless work of the police, Art is off to prison.

Wish I could be a fly on the wall when an inmate asks him, "What are you in for?"

Final dumb thoughts:

This guy gives new meaning to the word tabletop.

Having sex with a metal picnic table in the middle of an Ohio winter sounds more dangerous than sticking your tongue to a flag pole.

If you are seeing a table, and you go out to dinner, does it get jealous you are with other tables?

http://blog.trutv.com/dumb_as_a_blog/dumb_criminals/index.html?cnn=yes

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!



toggletoggle post by SacreligionNLI at Jun 25,2008 1:16pm
how do you even fuck a table? the headline should be "man who has sex with table gets nothing out of it"



toggletoggle post by cav nli at Jun 25,2008 1:18pm
i will be thinkin about that all day. i still cant figure it out.



toggletoggle post by SacreligionNLI at Jun 25,2008 1:23pm
unless it has one of those umbrella holsters in the center. i guess that's possible.

shit i wouldn't even call the cops, i'd send that shit into america's funniest home videos. all sprawled out on top of a table floppin around like a fish. imagine if it was glass and it broke? hilarious.



toggletoggle post by xmikex at Jun 25,2008 1:30pm
I hope he gets a restraining order from Lowes.



toggletoggle post by cav nli at Jun 25,2008 1:32pm
hahaha. oh mike your such a knee slappah!



toggletoggle post by BrianDBB  at Jun 25,2008 1:33pm
Did he pull out?



toggletoggle post by cav nli at Jun 25,2008 1:38pm


??



toggletoggle post by SacreligionNLI at Jun 25,2008 1:39pm
ouch



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