http://www.colonblow.com/

I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT.

Pics as soon as they're available.

THE CLOCK IS TICKING...

I CAN'T WAIT!

honestly, I've thought of doing it too.

i don't know, i don't buy into this stuff. i really have no basis, it just seems like a bad idea. i mean it is a good idea to clean your colon, the amount of undigested food that can sit in the large intestine is pretty shocking, but we don't know what that cleansing shit is really doing. it might cause some issues later on. but then again it might not.

There are other ways of doing it that take about a month and are much safer. I'd be afraid of 1 day cleaners.

yeah thats what i mean, it just isn't natural.

Though, who knows. There's some CRAZY herbal shit out there.

hehe, shit.

give me some of this. we can make those diarrhoea balloons I told you about.

this reminds me of that infomercial on tv

Yea, i have an herbal tea at home that cleans ya out
good stuff

THE COLON IS TICKING

one of my favorite band names was
Colon on the Cob

Eh - I've got an iron colon, I'm not worried.



Yeah, but what fun is that?

[ fade in on a man at a table, eating oat bran cereal from a bowl ]

Announcer: Hold it! Is that what you’re having for breakfast?

Man: Sure, haven't you heard? Fiber is really good for you.

Announcer: Well, there's fiber, and then there's high fiber. Try this.

[ offstage hands replace cereal box with Colon Blow cereal box ]

Man: Hmm.. Colon Blow. Sounds delicious. But is it really higher in fiber than my oat bran cereal?

Announcer: Take a guess: How many bowls of your oat bran cereal would it take to equal the fiber content of one bowl of Colon Blow?

Man: Two?

Announcer: Guess again.

Man: Three?

Announcer: A little higher.

Man: Four?

Announcer: Keep trying.

Man: Five?

Announcer: No, you'll have to do better than that.

Man: Seven?

Announcer: Guess again.

Man: Eight?

Announcer: We'll give you one more guess.

Man: Nine.

Announcer: Not even close. [ table starts shaking ] It would take over 30,000 bowls. [ a giant pyramid of cereal bowls shoots up from under the man, who yells in terror as it rises ] To eat that much oat bran, you'd have to eat ten bowls a day, every day for eight and a half years.

Man: [ after the pyramid settles; shouts from afar ] Wow! I think I get the picture! Colon Blow must be the highest fiber cereal on the market!

Announcer: Not any more, now that there's new Super Colon Blow.

Man: Super Colon Blow?

[ pyramid rises even higher with the man screaming ]

Announcer: It would take over two and a half million bowls of your oat bran cereal to equal the fiber content of one bowl of Super Colon Blow.

[ pyramid settles ]

Man: [ overwhelmed ]I'm convinced! [ looks down the pyramid in panic ]

[ cut to close-up of bowl with Colon Blow and Super Colon Blow boxes ]

Jingle: "Colon Blow and you-u-u-u in the morning"

Announcer: Colon Blow and new Super Colon Blow.

Voiceover: Warning: may cause abdominal distention. Consult a physician.

[ fade to black ]

Creativity = A
Comedy = B+
Math = A+ (you actually did it)
Insanity = A (you're at work)

Overall = B+

Not quite.

Phil Hartman's voice was not heard. C-

i should look into this...

i did 10 spikes dogs in boston last night, along with my freind and bandmate andy who also did ten.... it was well worth the shirt and picture. i will break the record next time, guaranteed

this is also an open eating challenge for any other duo in another band...LAWLZ

Pics, or it didn't happen

its on the wall on the corner of boylston and mass

i do blow,
and it cleans out my colon just fine

I want to know how this turns out.

My girlfriend will be staying with her sister for the weekend when I do this. For some weird reason, it's not something she wants to witness. (She's not nearly as entertained by poop as I am.)

poop on the floor

poop on the whore

I should just come over to your place and use your puppy's papers.

poop++

i wouldn't mind it. my old roomate (abaroth's drummer) used to leave everthing on the floor. open tuna cans, hair, poops, bags of potato chips that were a few months old, rush CDs...

i do believe you are going to be eating those words.

eesh, after colon blow you'll be going bm and i'm not talking bout black metal.

IT CAME, IT CAME, IT CAME!

Now just to wait for a free weekend.

Or, should I take this at the Wheelchair show?

take it at the wheelchair show.

TAKE IT AT THE WHEELCHAIR SHOW AND WE CAN DO FOUR GIRLS FINGERPAINTING

maybe I should try some of this

I had a nasty caca this AM

Tomorrow night is me and my girlfriend's 5 year anniversary. We're going to see the Hulk movie and getting a hotel. It'll be all romantic and stuff. Should I take this tonight? Y/N

depends if it's before band practice or after.

my vote is a Y either way

Y because i'm sick of waiting.

Y and pics or it didn't happen. i expect pics of each shit you do whilst using this product.

this whole thread is terrably entertaining.. does it have an ingrediant list?

you need to buy anything but sea salt, two tea spoons and 8 oz of water will blow your guts out. believe me...

need update / pics

Crap, forgot all about this. It's still sitting in my sock drawer.

SOON.

what kind of person puts Colon Blow with their socks? that deserves to be on a mantle above your fireplace.

what ever happened with this stuff?

i did 13 at the one that used to be next to hell/jerky's
painful. barely worth it.

10?

13?

you guys are nancies.

I can do 20 in 2 minutes no problem.

Ask Mark Richards. Kid knows

20? spikes dogs?
bullshit.
i call bullshit!
3/4's of a pound per dog x 20 = way too much....not to mention those bulky ass sourdough sub rolls they serve em in.
i want to see this in person!!!
i challenge you!!!

i realised at a second glance that you must have been joking....since you said "in 2 minutes"

I've thought about this thread a lot. dya don't pussy output

dya wont do it. dya's colon is already the size of south africa. when he takes colon blow theres going to be millions of bacteria-infested feces and food pieces all over the place. dya exploding is like the fucking big bang

they are 3/4 before they are cooked. I'm betting a little over a half afterward.

not 20 minutes, but I could do it.
I'm getting sick. I'm only 6 dogs behind kobyoshi's 2006 record.

really? wow.
mad respect

pics are it didnt happen

I want to see the toilet pics from the war aftermath.

funny story actually.

the night of the superbowl, my brother and I had two strippers over. I was more drunk then i'd ever been and challenged one to a hotdog eating contest, ate about 20 dogs and washed them down with sparks.

suddenly I didn't feel so good (this is around 3 am) and I went to lay down.

after about 5 minutes I got up, walked out of my room completely butt naked with about 40 people in my house, walked into the kitchen, microwaved 4 hotdogs and took them to the bathroom.

sat on the crapper naked with the door wide open swallowing hot dogs and took the most gigantic shit (seriously like the size of a pringle can) while I threw up about 24 hotdogs whole into the bathtub... ass naked.. with the door wide open.. covered head to toe in sweat.. screaming heeellllp.

after the deed was done I got up, no need to whipe my ass, and went to bed to work 2 hours later.

please, write a screen play for that and have it on the lionsgate desk with in the week.
just make sure that the stripper is pregnant and sort of querky. oh and underage.

you are my hero

I left out how the stripper was huffing whip-its while she was riding the other ones face.

One of them left one of their high heels here... like in cindarella.

*ahem*

you should have tracked her down like cinderella
and then fisted her

No pics? FTL

this morning, my innards dumped themselves out in a most unkind fashion. 1/2 a pizza + some wine + a bunch of 100% juice. FTL indeed. all that pain and then the toilet was just muddy colored. I thought I laid an ostrich egg.

ha, i went through the same shitty experience this morning.
papa gino's and beer

i took an awesome dump this morning.

"i had a good nights sleep. i had a good BM"

http://www.colonblow.com/tv/tv_spot.htm
POOP COACH!

need a fucking update, dude.
because you were wearing the COLONBLOW shirt at band practice last night does not mean you've taken it. pics plz

yeah man get with the cleansing. i am dying for the story.

as humans, we are all seeking a deep catharsis that is initiated by the symbolic resonance of lower GI rumbling...and a purging of the bowels.

how very chaucer like.

that is the longest way of saying "we like shitting" i have ever seen. well done.

DROWN IT IN ALLUSION, NUCKKA.

don't you mean, saturate thy statement in a vast plethora of subtleties aimed at alluding to the topic at hand, nuckka?

SHITTING FTW

this poseur has not taken this yet?
i am getting sick of this shit
take this and post pics

he's a liar obviously

he was wearing the colon blow shirt at practice on monday. that's the first proof I've seen

Please post pics.

Or, just post them to turds.com

need update/pics

he's a liar.

Something emerged which was too extreme for any human to see... unspeakable horror!

Moving into a new apartment this weekend - maybe I'll have to celebrate the new toilet.

Please do. And please post it to TURDS.COM when you do.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH dya?

If DYA is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

I want the results.

Okay, fuck it - Operation: New Year's Cleanse is GO. This weekend. YOU'LL SHIT BRICKS WHEN YOU SEE IT

Say goodbye to your weekend because just like the home "detox" kits you will be sitting on the toilet for 48 hours.

pictures please.

WHERE ARE THE POOP ROPES?

i thought this needed to come back.

Man, relevant thread is relevant. Sitting here working one out, thinking how my life could use a little Colon Blow.

LOL

You sir, have good taste in threads.

Have to see if Colon Blow is in this week's budget, otherwise I'll order it next week.

this is unacceptable. still no pix? for shame, you made Danzig weep

Danzig does love looking at pictures of my shit, I'll give you that.

did this nasty shit occur in the ladies room at the library? hawt.

this is seriously one of the most terrifying things ever. i am lactarded and almost everyday hunched over on the toilet in unbearable pain dry heaving out of my ass, covered in sweat and tears. i have had ecoli twice and if i could have one wish it might be to never have to poop again. i hate it. i can only picture this 1 day cleaner stuff actually pushing me over the edge to actually committing suicide in the bathroom. does it hurt? stink? or does that blob of stuff just slide out like nothings new??

It's like battleships leaving the harbor - just smooth sailin'.

battleshits

so youve done it? what about the next day?

well answer the question!

PHASE II NOW IN PROGRESS - EXPECT UPDATES AS THEY HAPPEN

http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/01/c...sing-not-so-healthy-analysis-says/?

Get a juicer, the vegetables will do it for you. Especially beets...

Master Cleanse or GTFO

what about bears or battlestar galactica?

Totally started doing that this past week. Last night for dinner was four carrots, celery, a tomato and cabbage. Added some braggs liquid aminos and sriracha. That shit was gooood.

I was using the fiber supplement you stir into drinks for a little while. It took a couple days to work properly, but the first time it did, I took four absolutely massive shits in the span of about three hours and felt like Jesus on ice skates. I guess you could say it's reverse anal.

Basically, just imagine the hockey stick is my colon and the puck is a giant shit being removed from my bowels

We got a juicer a few weeks ago and have used it everyday. I don't replace meals with juice ('nillas gotta eat), but add juice before a meal -- usually 1 in the morning and 1 before dinner.

This morning I did beet greens, carrots, zuchinni, cuke, and green apple -- good stuff and cleared me right out.

Good idea adding a little sauce to the juice. The better it is for you, often the harsher the juice. Greens like kale, chard, etc. tend to be bitter, but they are the best for you.

I've been having trouble juicing kale… It's just too fibrous and doesn't have much juice. I prefer just lightly steaming it and sprinkling a bit of garlic salt on top. Our fridge is filled with beets though… gonna do some tonight. Maybe follow it up with a mango peach smoothie.

In the summer, I TRY to have only 2 or 3 full cooked meals a week ( and I do dessert about just as much, heh). I'm vegan, so I don't have to worry about the meat or dairy, but cooked foods and some grains and most seeds and legumes will also putrefy in your colon for too long. But I imaging if you juice twice a day, that'd offset a lot of the bad shit in your colon.

Basically, having shit and farts that smell nice is good for you.

Yeah, you don't get alot of juice from kale, spinach, chard, lettuce, etc. but it still adds alot of nutrients to the juice.

What juicer did you get? We got this one: http://www.brevilleusa.com/juicing/juice-fountain-plus-je98xl.html

Seems to work pretty slick...

I got their juice fountain compact version.

I want to try a straight-up carrot-orange juice.

Careful how you mix fruits and vegetables. Apparently most fruits (except for apples & pears) digest a different way than vegetables -- more specifically, they move through your stomach faster and if anything is in the way, the fruits will ferment in your gut, causing nasty farts and indigestion. This has a little info on that: http://www.bastis.org/juicing.htm

Carrot, apple, and fresh ginger is a tasty one.

Good call on the beets too -- those things are awesome for you (and will store forever), but don't drink straight up beet juice, or you'll be hurting. Keep the greens (clip and store separately) and juice those too. Beets make you poop red -- weird.

Balls, I didn't know that about citrus fruits. I wasn't planning on that for health reasons though. I just want something tasty to go with my waffles and cartoons on saturday morning.

I pretty much survive through the winter on potatoes, beets and celeriac. I pooped and pissed red for about 4 months last year.

Haven't gotten the red wee yet, but the poops are quite rosy indeed.

WELL ANSWER ME!

The Man!

New Vital Remains singer needed

Colin blow.

Another false flag operation here. Infowars.com is currently investigating just who is behind this ultra secret DYA organization and why we have yet to see photos of the steaming shit nuggets we were promised so many years ago.

Every troll is Aril

Wrong. The real Aril knows that DYA posted a picture of his colon blow shit in another thread.

I still have one of these left, maybe next weekend we'll all do some science. together. like a family.

You know these days I only log in for something important.

GET IT?!? "LOG IN?"

high-res pictures of my shit INCOMIIIIIIIIING

























Lots of stuff like this. Looks like I've been eating paper towels.



captcha for this pic: "chicken salad"

Stay tuned for "round 2" - hoping for some big loafy ones.

AWESOME.

Serious intestinal plaque on that one dude!

Pfffffffff, why use a Qtip when you could use your hand.

is that stomach lining?

s/hand/teeth/

Do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

Dude, I haven't shit since that first one. Usually I get three big ones and then back to my (very regularly) scheduled program. I'm kind of afraid of what's going to happen when the other shoe drops, so to speak.

How much does this cost?

If you defecate a whole shoe, it's time to talk to a licensed psychotherapist.

I think it's like 32 bucks for a three-pack. IDK, it's been awhile since I bought it, check the website.

so is this worth it?

does the shit just rush out of your butthole, or is there some effort involved? Is it a hot shit?

6665 views before I clicked, which makes this #6666.

A) Usually it's just smooooooth sailing. The one pictured above was like that. Again, USUALLY totally worth it, and I feel great after.

B) so I don't know what the fuck happened this time, but I just finally took crap #2 (pictured below). not psyched.

Was expecting a nice bran brick, got this instead:



Big fucked-up tarry buttdagger, and lots of hyper-dense dark matter in the bottom of the bowl (a la Nibbler from Futurama - if I hadn't flushed it, it probably coulda used it to power a spaceship). and, yes, that is some blood. I think I may drink too much coffee.

Also apparently I no read so good, 6566 not 6666.

First I thought this was a band. Colon Blow is a good name for a grindcore band.

Hey, man. I just ordered the new Colon Blow. It was the shit.

that is disgusting

What exactly did you think you were gonna see following this text:



Puppies playing with kittens?

ITT: shitpost in a shitthread

I think the COLON BLOW in the title made me guess this wasn't a "mealtime thread."

Or maybe, it is...

shutup fagget

Ingredients: Cascara Sagrada Bark, Fig Fruit, Prune Juice Powder (prune juice, maltodextrin), Senna Leaf, Cascara Sagrada Extract, Senna Extract, Magnesium Sulfate, Psyllium seed husks, natural plant flavors (MSG free), stevia, gelatin (capsule).

http://www.colonblow.com/colon-blow-ingredients-colon-cleanser.html

Interesting. Basically psyllium (which absorbs many times its weight in water and thus bloats your colon while exerting downward pressure) and various laxatives.

Some prunes, figs, and a gentle laxative could achieve the same if you ate them with psyllium and then drank more water than you think you can handle.

It should be a delicious excretion.

BUMP