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New site? Maybe some day. 
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Fucking WOW. Go human race:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/406067.stm
At the Lusaka sewage ponds, two teenage boys plunge their hands into the dark brown sludge, gathering up fistfuls and stuffing it into small plastic bottles. They tap the bottles on the ground, taking care to leave enough room for methane to form at the top. A sour smell rises in the hot sun, but the boys seem oblivious to the stench and the foul nature of their task.
They are manufacturing "Jenkem", a disgusting, noxious mixture made from fermented sewage. It is cheap, potent and very popular among the thousands of street-children in Lusaka. When they cannot afford glue or are too scared to steal petrol, these youngsters turn to Jenkem as a way of getting high.
"It lasts about an hour", says one user, 16-year-old Luke Mpande, who prefers Jenkem to other substances.
"With glue, I just hear voices in my head. But with Jenkem, I see visions. I see my mother who is dead and I forget about the problems in my life." |
So, once we dispense with the obligatory "Africans aren't human" jokes and such: Kids are HUFFING HUMAN FECES. And it fucks you up, hardcore. Check this shit (har har):
So I was on Wikipedia the other day checking out the stuff on hallucinogens when I discovered a popular chemical in Africa called 'Jenkem.' After reading up on the Internet about some popular recipes, a few friends of mine decided to go and produce some of this potent hallucinogen. The first part of our journey involved a trip to the local sewage treatment plant, where we filled some empty coke bottles half-full with the potent sludge we found in the cleaning tanks.
We hid the bottles behind a bush, letting them ferment for a few hours while we went to smoke some marijuana. After about 4 hours of fermentation, we went to retrieve our putrid creations.
One at a time, we all inhaled the jenkem we had created. The odor was viscious, but my god it was worth it. What came after I cannot describe. A euphoric high, not unlike coccaine, but with strong hallucinations of times past -- I saw dead relatives during my trip. It was almost magical.
The onset of jenkem is probably 10 seconds after inhalation, with the most severe hallucinations happening probably 20 minutes into the trip. Beware that if you try this wonderful substance that you're going to be "out of it" for several hours after inhaling, and really it will take several days for you to fully recover. One of the downsides of jenkem is that you constantly have that taste of sewage in your breathing for several days after the fact.
After subsequent trips, there were a few characteristics we felt made for better trips with Jenkem. First off, if you visited the sewage treatment plant at around mid-day on a sunny day we found we got the best highs. Secondly, make sure you have someone nearby who is not high on the substance (believe me, once you've been introduced to it, you don't want to not be high on it... so find someone who isn't big into drugs to do this). |
Seriously, WTF, humanity, WTF? |
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I bet their hippies smell worse than our hippies. |
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Ok, seriously, I'm sitting here drinking scotch right now as a direct effect of this story - I don't know how, but somehow THIS was the thing that made me despair for humanity and need a stiff drink. I must be getting old.
Anyway, brainstorming on the way home from work:
Plan A) Ok, I'm a little curious to try it. What can I say, I'm a scientist.
Plan B) I can't wait to start a cult, now. The first thing I do (after I get done knocking up all the nubile daughters) is get, like, fifty people to try this shit at once. We'll rent a function hall, it'll be great, just half a hundred people in 'Manos," the Hand of Fate robes huffing their own shit and seeing god at the local VFW, while I receive highly illegal blowjobs on my throne of skulls and laugh.
Plan C) I forgot this one. Probably at the liquor store. |
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Getting high on poop is seriously messed up.
DestroyYouAlot said:
Is anyone else disturbed by how young that kid looks?
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Africa is still alive with people? |
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wee neeeed moree of thissss |
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I'm more than willing to check it out and report back with my findings. Strictly for the purpose of science, of course. |
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You're going to peel off some of your skin and huff it? |
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don't be silly. that isn't reported to get anyone high... is it? |
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you can't possibly be saying that on the internet and there by maki it true are you? |
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Samantha said: | Is anyone else disturbed by how young that kid looks? |
14, according to the article that I read pointing to that one. Hell, I was experimenting with all kinds of dangerous chemicals and shit when I was younger that that; if I had the internet at that age, I'd probably be huffing poo, too.
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what's stopping you now? quiter.
after the first round of tests we are going to have to figure out a way to market this one. |
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the_reverend said: | after the first round of tests we are going to have to figure out a way to market this one. |
Huff this Kiddies!!
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the_reverend said: | you can't possibly be saying that on the internet and there by maki it true are you? |
We can make maki rolls wrapped in Rich Horror skin!
 |
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I can just see the wording of the next drug war funding bill now...kids are getting high off of shit, now they'll have to make shit illegal and spend billions of dollars a year wiping it off the earth so kids can find some other way to get high. They'll be searching people for feces at airports, this will be great. The ultimate example of the failure of the war on drugs, kids resorting to huffing crap. |
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there's no war on drugs in africa. |
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so you huff shit?
why would you do that? |
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I can see the lines of emo kids already starting to form outside at the outhouses at this years warped tour. |
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Made my day but...
DestroyYouAlot said:
Plan B) I can't wait to start a cult, now. The first thing I do (after I get done knocking up all the nubile daughters) is get, like, fifty people to try this shit at once. We'll rent a function hall, it'll be great, just half a hundred people in 'Manos," the Hand of Fate robes huffing their own shit and seeing god at the local VFW, while I receive highly illegal blowjobs on my throne of skulls and laugh.
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Will a horde of crippled-old-dude-supposed-to-be-a-satyr-slaves be administering said bjs?
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fukkthekids said: Made my day but...
DestroyYouAlot said:
Plan B) I can't wait to start a cult, now. The first thing I do (after I get done knocking up all the nubile daughters) is get, like, fifty people to try this shit at once. We'll rent a function hall, it'll be great, just half a hundred people in 'Manos," the Hand of Fate robes huffing their own shit and seeing god at the local VFW, while I receive highly illegal blowjobs on my throne of skulls and laugh.
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Will a horde of crippled-old-dude-supposed-to-be-a-satyr-slaves be administering said bjs?
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If at all possible, I bet Torgo gives mean deep throat. |
 
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