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returntothepit >> discuss >> not fat enough? walmart can help by the_reverend on Nov 19,2003 10:45am
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toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 19,2003 10:45am

toggletoggle post by litacore   at Nov 19,2003 10:46am
not enough room in that thing for the goat--

toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 19,2003 10:57am
looks like someone's got her inventing cap on.

toggletoggle post by litacore   at Nov 19,2003 11:05am
desperation is the mother of invention.

maybe I can shrink the goat--

toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 19,2003 11:12am
i'm glad walmart doen't do facelifts...

otherwise we'd have more people like this..

that woman is nuts...and why she'd do that to herself..ugh

toggletoggle post by Lynneaus  at Nov 19,2003 11:27am
succubus u sure woman is the right word there?

toggletoggle post by litacore   at Nov 19,2003 11:30am edited Nov 19,2003 11:32am
I think I'm going to lose my breakfast. Good lord--ewwwww.

Staples are not a beauty accessory--

toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 19,2003 11:33am
i forgetwhat her name is..but she PAID to get her eyes like that...she's had a lot of surgery


toggletoggle post by litacore   at Nov 19,2003 11:44am
that's really too bad. I've seen this happen to people who fall into the beauty myth a bit much--

oh well. Her body, her $$$--

toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 19,2003 12:15pm
it's a man, baby.

toggletoggle post by litacore   at Nov 19,2003 12:34pm
the_reverend said:
it's a man, baby.

yeah, well...

toggletoggle post by DeOdiumMortis  at Nov 19,2003 5:42pm
I want that frier. Someone buy it for me for Antichristmas.

toggletoggle post by MyDeadDoll   at Nov 19,2003 9:28pm
but i already bought you a present...

toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 19,2003 9:40pm
a sock covered in dog semen...
sounds like a happy happy antixmas.

toggletoggle post by MyDeadDoll   at Nov 20,2003 12:14am
dammit, how'd you know? now i totally
have to rethink this... damn you rev...

toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 21,2003 9:09am
ok... if anyone is interested...

here is the main part:

Though Jocelyne tried as hard as she could, and eventually provided her husband with two fine children, it was sometimes a thankless task to jolly her husband out of his somber moods. He was subject to fits of depression at the control his father still exercised over him, in spite of his advancing years. The only consolations, it seemed, were the lions in his private jungle and his priceless, exquisite art collection. An insecure Jocelyne could not be blamed for feeling somewhat jealous. When Alec's eye began to wander after many years of marriage, Jocelyne knew that drastic measures were called for.

Pushing fifty and insecure about her looks, Jocelyne visited a renowned plastic surgeon who was a friend of the family. She wanted to revitalize her appearance in order to recapture the Alec she was so desperately in love with. The first surgeries were successful, and Alec was so impressed with the results that he began to have a few alterations of his own. This happy state of affairs lasted quite some time, and Jocelyne had the feeling that things were once again back on an even keel. So it was with both shock and sadness that she learned Alec wanted to sleep with other women. Not knowing what to do, a desperate Jocelyne formulated a plan that was so audacious in its daring that she may be forgiven for failing to see its drawbacks.

Jocelyne realized that Alec loved his jungle estate, and the cats that inhabited it, more than anything else in life. So armed with this information, she returned to her plastic surgeon with an unusual request: She wanted to be transformed into one of the giant Cats that Alec loved so much. Though surprised at this unorthodox request, the surgeon did his best to comply.

After countless surgeries - no one can say with certainty just how many - Jocelyne the Nordic beauty disappeared, and "The Queen Of The Jungle" took her place. Her lips had been enlarged, and her face pulled back at the eyes to simulate a cat-eye effect. Jocelyne's appearance was indeed striking - especially as she had had her pigment darkened as well. The first time Alec saw his new wife, it is said he screamed at the sudden appearance of this startling creature that confronted him. Indeed, court documents of the divorce proceedings reveal that he said he "couldn't even recognize my own wife up close. She seems to think that you fix a face the same way you fix a house". Naturally, Jocelyne was disappointed, and returned to her plastic surgeon for more work. It is rumored that several prospective patients ran screaming from the office, so concerned were they that they would end up looking like Jocelyne. As the reader may well imagine, this did nothing to improve the poor socalite's anxiety. However, massing her ample reserves of courage, Jocelyne persevered, and hasn't stopped to this day. When questioned as to the precise number and types of surgeries she's had, she merely replies with a smile "no more or less than any other woman".

toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 21,2003 9:16am
vanity, they name is woman.

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