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returntothepit >> discuss >> News Radio quotes and appreciation thread by xmikex on Feb 15,2007 9:07am
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toggletoggle post by xmikex at Feb 15,2007 9:07am
all the love for Joe Rogan has inspired me. I'll fill this whole thread up all day long if I have to:

- A bridge? Nobody ever says anything good about a bridge. It's always 'Traffic was backed up today on the Jimmy James' or 'Some nutjob decided to jump off the Jimmy James' or 'I was driving on the Jimmy James while my wife was in bed with my best friend!'

- Well in all fairness sir, that last one could have happened anywhere.

- But it didn't did it, it happened ON THE JIMMY JAMES!



toggletoggle post by xmikex at Feb 15,2007 9:13am edited Feb 15,2007 9:13am
Jimmy: I don't know Lisa, there's a lot to a name. I used to own a dishwashing detergent, "Dandy Clean". It had the name that everyone knew and trusted, and it always sold really well. Then that whole break-dancing fad hit, and my advisers told me to change the name to stay hip. The company went under in less than a year.

Lisa: What did you change the name to, sir?

Jimmy: Break-dancing Detergent.




toggletoggle post by hungtableed at Feb 15,2007 9:13am
"I'm so angry I want to bite the steel on the microphone" - Michael Savage

"are you a sodomite? oh you are, why don't you get AIDS and die - go choke on a sausage - get trichinosis!". - Michael Savage



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 15,2007 9:19am
the worst was when phil hartman die and they got that potato to fill in.



toggletoggle post by W3 nli at Feb 15,2007 9:20am
the_reverend said:
the worst was when phil hartman die and they got that potato to fill in.


never speak of him that way.

he will always be known as the critic.



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Feb 15,2007 9:24am
i used to get the NewsRadio theme song stuck in my head all the time... now is one of those times. damnit.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 15,2007 9:52am
why the he is there a michael savage quote in this thread? it makes me especially sad since I am a sodomite.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Feb 15,2007 10:32am
this show was great, do they show reruns anywhere?



toggletoggle post by ariavette at Feb 15,2007 10:40am
Yeti said:
this show was great, do they show reruns anywhere?


yeah they are on.. umm.. maybe UPN I think... usually during the day though so unless you stay home from work wont be able to see it..



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 15,2007 10:44am
TBS



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 15,2007 10:45am
Bill: Alright the chair costs $2000. So you have give me $1200.
Matthew: No, half of $2000 is $1000.
Bill: I think you need to get yourself a calculator my friend.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 15,2007 10:47am
Bill: "How come no one thinks I'm funny?"
Lisa: "How come no one thinks I'm female?"
Bill: "We're misunderstood, I suppose. That's why guys like you and me gotta hang together."



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 15,2007 10:47am
"Are you challenging my constitutional right to make nude phone calls?"



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 15,2007 10:48am
Matthew: "In fact in Japan they've got all kinds of different things to eat."
Bill: "Yeah, I know Matthew it's called Chinese food. Now shut up."



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 15,2007 10:48am
BILL: "Knock Knock"
DAVE: "Who's there?"
BILL: "Bill McNeal"
DAVE: "Bill McNeal who?"
BILL: "That's really all I have so far."



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Feb 15,2007 10:49am
my favorite episode was the one where Matthew and Joe and try to get the cup off the flourencent light fixture...hilarious circumstances ensue!



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 15,2007 10:49am
Mr. James: "Dave, whenever I have a bee in my bonnet... I find it helps to take my hat off."
Dave: "Meaning...?"
Mr. James: "Meaning I take my hat off, the bee flies out... do I need to draw you a picture?"



toggletoggle post by babyshaker nli at Feb 15,2007 10:51am
i dont know the exact lines but i love the episode where there thinkin of sellin the station so bill keeps doing that spanish commentator voice



toggletoggle post by xmikex at Feb 15,2007 11:37am
Dave: Bill hasn't anyone ever told you 'When life gives you lemons make lemonade'?

Bill: Well Dave, hasn't anyone ever told you "When life gives you lemons make lemonade and throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you asked for in the first place"



toggletoggle post by xmikex at Feb 15,2007 11:39am
Jimmy: I feel like I'm under seige here. I'm like Steven Segal in... what was the name of that movie?
Dave: Under Seige?
Jimmy: No.
Lisa: Under Seige 2?
Jimmy: No!
Lisa: Under Seige 3?
Jimmy: Yeah, that's the one.
Dave: Sir, I don't think there was an Under Seige 3
Jimmy: Yeah but you get the point I'm trying to make here.



toggletoggle post by animal_rampage at Feb 15,2007 11:40am
kis nizel mie dils nufus



toggletoggle post by xmikex at Feb 15,2007 11:44am
Did you know Beth was named after a KISS song?



toggletoggle post by brian_dc  at Feb 15,2007 12:09pm
go to the other Joe Rogan thread for a download of Louis CK's "Shameless"

it's not newsradio related, but do it.



toggletoggle post by xmikex at Feb 16,2007 8:28am
Bill: I'll never forget what my mother told me after I was cut from the football team. She said "Well Central High may have lost a fullback but the McNeil's have gained a daughter." Oh the times we had.



toggletoggle post by xmikex at Feb 16,2007 8:29am
the_reverend said:
Mr. James: "Dave, whenever I have a bee in my bonnet... I find it helps to take my hat off."
Dave: "Meaning...?"
Mr. James: "Meaning I take my hat off, the bee flies out... do I need to draw you a picture?"


"This isn't one of those stories where the guy turns out to be Nixon is it?"



toggletoggle post by TheHawthorneEffectKevin_nli at Feb 16,2007 9:26am
I was a big fan of the one where Bill tried to quit smoking:

Dave: I just didn't realize the Patch had side effects.
Bill: And I didn't know you're only supposed to wear one at a time.
Dave: How many did you have on, Bill?
Bill: Fifteen, sixteen. Had 'em going around my waist like a little belt.



toggletoggle post by Josh_Martin at Feb 16,2007 9:44am
"Honey, what are you doing with that gun? OH MY GOD!! AGGGHHHHH!!"

Phil Hartman, 1998



toggletoggle post by SacreligionNLI at Feb 16,2007 9:46am
^^ truly the forefront of all that is controversial and funny



toggletoggle post by brian_dc  at Feb 16,2007 9:49am
yeah man...topical humor is the bee's knees



toggletoggle post by SacreligionNLI at Feb 16,2007 9:50am
that's why the critic did so well



toggletoggle post by SacreligionNLI at Feb 16,2007 9:51am
just to clarify, i love the critic...it just didn't last because it was too smart and dated as shit



toggletoggle post by Josh_Martin at Feb 16,2007 9:55am
SacreligionNLI said:
^^ truly the forefront of all that is controversial and funny


Ironic coming from a Jon Lovitz fan.



toggletoggle post by SacreligionNLI at Feb 16,2007 10:04am
that isn't irony

and i'm a CRITIC fan, not necessarily a lovitz fan



toggletoggle post by xmikex at Feb 16,2007 11:19am
Josh_Martin said:
"Honey, what are you doing with that gun? OH MY GOD!! AGGGHHHHH!!"

Phil Hartman, 1998


cue SOD Ballad of Phil Hartman



toggletoggle post by Josh_Martin at Feb 16,2007 12:17pm
xmikex said:
Josh_Martin said:
"Honey, what are you doing with that gun? OH MY GOD!! AGGGHHHHH!!"

Phil Hartman, 1998


cue SOD Ballad of Phil Hartman


"Hi, this is Troy McClure"

YOU'RE DEAD!




toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Feb 16,2007 1:48pm
super monkey death car



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 20,2007 1:29pm
Matthew:"Do you want to hear how it really happened?"
Jimmy:"From you?... no."



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