Umm... hi, God? It's me, Ryan. I know I haven't been the nicest guy and talked a LOT of shit on you, your kid and your shitty fan club - but like any lapsed Catholic worth his salt, I have a BIG favor to ask of you now. I'd be SO grateful if you would dole out an extra helping of famine with a side-order of plague to the godless savages of Cameroon. Maybe turn their water to blood... y'know, just for good leverage. That would be swell. Thanks, chief.
