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returntothepit >> discuss >> Darwin Award winners top 10 by ~Carina~ on Aug 12,2005 12:10pm
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toggletoggle post by ~Carina~ at Aug 12,2005 12:10pm
from an email i got
>
> Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards
>are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the
>glorious winners.
>
> Darwin Award Winners:
>
> 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
>during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
>Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
>barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now,
>the honorable mentions:
>
> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
>machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
>insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of
>its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a
>finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>
> 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman
>had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
>driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
>transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
>his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
>everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
>the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
>excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
>discovered for 3 days.
>
> 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
>head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
>the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
>close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
>counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
>the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
>the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
>fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
>got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives
>you money, is a crime committed?)
>
> 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
>He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
>window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
>heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
>and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
>liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught
>on videotape.
>
> 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
>grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
>woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
>Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.
>They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then
>taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To
>which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole
>the purse from."
>
> 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun,demanded
>cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
>cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
>the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast . The man,
>frustrated, walked away.
>
> A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
>on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
>Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
>motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
>admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
>the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
>declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever
>had.



toggletoggle post by largefreakatzero at Aug 12,2005 12:18pm
Someone should find the video of the Arkansas guy with the cinder block.



toggletoggle post by DreamingInExile   at Aug 12,2005 12:19pm
largefreakatzero said:
Someone should find the video of the Arkansas guy with the cinder block.


HAHA, yeah, I'd love to see that vid



toggletoggle post by ~Carina~ at Aug 12,2005 12:21pm
i'm sure someone on here can find it

MSD, Tom, i'm looking at you!
heh



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Aug 12,2005 12:33pm
I'm sure it doesn't exist on the net, but this is similar. http://www.big-boys.com/articles/badrobber11.html



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Aug 12,2005 12:33pm
and yes it's worksafe.



toggletoggle post by largefreakatzero at Aug 12,2005 12:36pm
Bahahaha - a 2-for-1!



toggletoggle post by ~Carina~ at Aug 12,2005 1:56pm
msd i knew we could count on you!



toggletoggle post by shatteredliz   at Aug 12,2005 2:03pm
Haha! I love it!



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Aug 12,2005 2:08pm
~Carina~ said:
msd i knew we could count on you!


woo! Now you can go watch that other video I posted of the cow sucking that guy's wang.



toggletoggle post by ~Carina~ at Aug 12,2005 2:25pm
oh i missed that one (thank god)
there's also one with a pig and it's banging a girl
ewww
and there's more but i'll stop now
ps: i didn't watch it



toggletoggle post by yodaslab at Aug 12,2005 2:49pm
why would anyone want to see a pig and a girl having sex? thats something that is beyond comprehension on any level



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Aug 12,2005 3:20pm
yodaslab said:
why would anyone want to see a pig and a girl having sex? thats something that is beyond comprehension on any level


I know right?

At any rate, the video I posted was a pig and a guy having sex.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Aug 12,2005 3:22pm
are they porking?



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Aug 12,2005 3:44pm
I'm not sure how to respond to that.



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Aug 12,2005 3:44pm
Wait, I got it!

..yes.



toggletoggle post by Josh_Martin at Aug 12,2005 4:48pm
yodaslab said:
why would anyone want to see a pig and a girl having sex? thats something that is beyond comprehension on any level


Are you kidding? That rules. I would love to see that.



toggletoggle post by widowmaker at Feb 20,2008 9:08pm



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