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returntothepit >> discuss >> what the fuck?? by nate on May 23,2005 2:19pm
Add To All Your Pages!
toggletoggle post by nate   at May 23,2005 2:19pm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is to confirm that

NATHAN DEMONTIGNY
515 MAIN STREET RTE 28
WEST DENNIS MA 02670
has been ordained as a minister of the
Universal Life Church, Modesto, California.

Date of Ordination: 5/22/2005

by Kevin Andrews, Pastor
www.ulc.net
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your request for ordination has been processed, and you are now an ordained
minister of the Universal Life Church in Modesto, California! Please
record the above date of ordination for your records, as you may need this
information in the future to fill out the various forms of the
clergy. If you were ordained previously, the above date will constitute
a valid date upon which you were RE-ordained. Ordination is for life,
without price, and without question of your specific beliefs. You do NOT
need to pay any tithe, donation, or offering of any kind, now or in the future.

Ordinations are individually reviewed and forwarded to Universal Life
Church International Headquarters in Modesto, California, where it will be
recorded in the permanent church records.

As a minister, you are authorized by the church to perform the rites and
ceremonies of the church (except circumcision), including weddings,
funerals, baptisms and blessings, subject to the laws of your country,
state, or locality. Prior to conducting any civil ceremony (such as
marriages), you should know and comply with the laws pertaining to your
area of jurisdiction.

You are entitled to all privileges and courtesies normally offered to
members of the clergy.

Your commitment is to always do the right thing. It is your responsibility
to peacefully and sincerely determine the right course of action, and to
avoid infringing on the rights of others. You alone are responsible for
your actions as a minister.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at May 23,2005 2:19pm
that's what I'm a minister of.



toggletoggle post by nate   at May 23,2005 2:21pm
this is funny shit... did you do anything yet with your super power??



toggletoggle post by largefreakatzero at May 23,2005 2:39pm
Just be happy that you received your life's calling in convenient email form.



toggletoggle post by davefromthegrave  at May 23,2005 2:42pm
It'll be funny if the only thing you do is circumsize someone



toggletoggle post by Scoracrasia   at May 24,2005 9:18am
That's pretty fucked up Nate. Never knew you swung that way!



toggletoggle post by Josh_hates_you  at May 24,2005 9:22am
so do ministers get to touch little boys too?



toggletoggle post by nate   at May 24,2005 10:55am
bahaha it was a joke... a friend told me he joined and was approved so I figured they would deny me... I mean shit, don't you have to believe in God before you can be ordained as a minister??



toggletoggle post by Scoracrasia   at May 24,2005 11:04am
nate said:
bahaha it was a joke... a friend told me he joined and was approved so I figured they would deny me... I mean shit, don't you have to believe in God before you can be ordained as a minister??



Na, not in modern times. You just have to be a pedophile.



toggletoggle post by nate   at May 24,2005 11:07am
I didn't see that anywhere on the application though, they should add it so they can instantly approve people. bahaha



toggletoggle post by nate   at May 24,2005 11:10am
anyone notice this is the same town Scott Peterson was from? I wonder if he was ordained... lol



toggletoggle post by succubus  at May 24,2005 11:10am
nope, you do not have to believe in God
and aaron "the reverend" has performed marriages before and we're flying to California where he's going to do another one this summer



toggletoggle post by nate   at May 24,2005 11:12am
holy shit... so we can really marry people with this super power?



toggletoggle post by KillerKadoogan   at May 24,2005 11:28am
i signed up for the sole purpose of putting "Reverend Benjamin Farley" in the Exploding Christ booklet and having it be official



toggletoggle post by Scoracrasia   at May 24,2005 11:43am
I've got a cock.



toggletoggle post by anonymous at May 24,2005 11:49am



toggletoggle post by anonymous at May 24,2005 11:49am
People suck




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