Can someone translate this? Those on-line translators fucking suck.

"Joder, Bestial Onslaught no hace más que mandarme material de primera, esta gente tiene muy buen gusto para elegir. Este grupo es de todo un personaje Larry Lifeless, el vocalista, que también ha estado en grupos como Kilslug o Upsidedown Cross, que se juntó con gente de grupos como Anal cunt o Kevorkian´s Angels para vomitar esta apisonadora DOOM/SLUDGE y hacer que todos perdamos la inocencia, porque como bien dice la hoja promocional "Adolf Satan is a fist in the face of Good taste and sobriety - a perfect soundtrack for every hangover, for every break up, for every back alley abortion. This is antisocial music, played by scumbags, for scumbags. Fueled by substance abuse and a general disregard for any standards of "decency", ADOLF SATAN is here for your liquor, your drugs and your children." No se puede ser más claro a la hora de hacer una auto descripción o una declaración de intenciones, además os digo que tampoco más preciso, por mucho que le he dado vueltas no he podido encontrar una descripción mejor de esta banda, es todo lo políticamente incorrecto, junto, con mala hostia, buena música, sonido guarro, voces irritantes, actitud extrema, originalidad y músicos feos y sucios, como debe ser!!! Para todos los amantes del SLUDGE, del doom, de todo lo antisocial, lo estridente, lo puro y original, lo establecido. Yo por lo pronto estoy escondiendo mis birras no vaya a ser que venga Larry y me las quite!!! Además esta gente tienen que ser unos cachondos que la hostia, entre sus 12 temas para treinta y cinco minutos tenemos grandes canciones con títulos como Here Comes The Cum (Si los beatles levantaran la cabeza lo mismo se llevaban una corrida facial de Larry Lifeless, jejej), In The Rain UIT No Cocaine o Polio Juice. Imprescindible para los amantes de "lo bueno". FRAN."

You know I don't speak spanish.

This is what i got out of it:

"Bestial Onslaught Larry Lifeless Kilslug Upsidedown Cross Anal cunt Kevorkian´s Angels DOOM/SLUDGE Adolf Satan is a fist in the face of Good taste and sobriety - a perfect soundtrack for every hangover, for every break up, for every back alley abortion. This is antisocial music, played by scumbags, for scumbags. Fueled by substance abuse and a general disregard for any standards of "decency", ADOLF SATAN is here for your liquor, your drugs and your children SLUDGE doom Larry 12 Here Comes The Cum beatles Larry Lifeless In The Rain UIT No Cocaine Polio Juice

Gee, thanks Professor.

you're very welcome.

honestly, i can pick out a lot of words in there, but my english translation would probably be more confusing than trying to read the spanish version.

Well, what's the gist of it? How much do we suck?

i'm pretty sure he's saying he likes it a lot, as well as the rest of the bestial onslaught catalog.

i may be wrong though

It basically says the quote in english is a precise description, the music is extreme, politically incorrect and original, among other things
I took spanish in high school, so it's been a couple years, but I think the reviewer likes your band

To fuck, Beastly Onslaught does not make to order any more than me material of first, these people have very good taste to choose. This group belongs to the whole personage Larry Lifeless, the vocalist, that also it has been in groups like Kilslug or Upsidedown Cross, which together with people of groups like Anal cunt or Kevorkian's Angels to vomit this road roller DOOM/SLUDGE and to do that we all lose the innocence, because as well he says the promotional sheet "Adolf Satan is a fist in the face of Good taste and sobriety - a perfect soundtrack for every hangover, for every break up, for every back alley abortion. This is antisocial music, played by scumbags, for scumbags. Fueled by substance abuse and a general disregard for any standards of "decency", ADOLF SATAN is here for your liquor, your drugs and your children." It is not possible to be clearer at the moment of making one car description or a declaration of intentions, besides I say to you that more precise, for much that I have turned him I could not have found a better description of this band either, it is everything politically incorrect, united, with bad host, good music, sound filthy pig, irritating voices, attitude carries to extremes, originality and ugly and dirty musicians, since it must be!!! For all the lovers of the SLUDGE, of the doom, of everything antisocial, the strident thing, the pure and original thing, the established thing. I for the prompt thing am hiding my birras do not be going to be that Larry comes and takes them from me!!! Besides these people they have to be the sexy some that the host, between his 12 topics for thirty five minutes we have big songs with qualifications as Here Comes The Cum (If the beatles will raise the head the same thing they were removing Larry Lifeless's facial bullfight, jejej), In The Rain UIT not Cocaine or Polio Juice. Essential for the lovers of " the good thing ". FRAN. "

paganmegan said:

Cool, thanks sweetie.

KillerKadoogan said:


All I could get out of that was that he's afraid Larry is going to come to his house and steal his beer.

Why is the word "sexy" in there? That is very weird.

un poco, i'm in a hurry out the door now, maybe later I can do that for yah.

Josh_Martin said:

he thinks you guys are dreamy

Josh_Martin said:

Wouldn't you be?

man... my 9 years of spanish classes didn't prepare me for all those swears.

I speak spanish but I'm lazy right now. So I'll read it all later.

Mexican people

taco flavor kisses for my beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen