That's right....1st date.

She's fucking gorgeous, and funny as hell, AND LIKES METAL.

Hell ya when she busted out her Suffocation collection I almost shit!

She laid a smacker right on the pink strips under my nose.

JOY JOY JOY HAPPY JOY HAPPY

yo jake post some fuck pics

hurry up and put it in her brown eye...that is too good to be true...stick it in the brown eye then you know its for real

What was his name?

A girl kissed me at the last Gwar show. I didn't notice. I only knew about it cause my friends told me.

kissing girls is cool

Hooker is jealous....he wants to kiss me. Sorry palsy but no Jake lips for you, Hogrot.

Yep, now if I can only convince her that it's just a rash.

say you fell down some carpeted stairs... but you slid down on only your sac

Oh. Palsy. I thought you meant like palsy. Like a disorder where you shake.

Hot metal girls are more rare than black professional swimmers.

???

It's true. There are some, but for the most part metal ain't pretty on either side of the sex fence.

pfffttt
joe thinks i'm a hot metal chick so there

but my ??? was because last time i talked to jake he was back with his ex..color me confused

Oh. I'm not saying anyone here's busted. I'm just saying it's tough to find hot metal chicks.

yes yes i know i know...and i'm not a metal chick anyhow..since i like a lot of different types of music..but hoser
???

hoser said:

YOU ARE SO FUCKING LUCKY! I envy you.

Hooker said:

rephrase, it's hard to find hot metal chicks that are available

my girlfriend is hot, is kinda into metal. and drove 3 hours with me to go see Dying Fetus

hah!
the things i do for my man!
i am the bestestest girlfriend!
into metal and more anddd super supportive of him and ALL the shows he goes to
i win
the end

now where did hoser go?

succubus said:


Sure, rub it in, make all the metal dudes with no metal girlz jealous.

Thats weird, you just told me her favorite band was 311.
and that she was normal.
Funny how stories change in hoserland so fast.
you goon.

and Succubus, why is this a contest?
if it was, MY girlfriend wins by 10,000.

and i bought him a laplop for his bday and...

THIS would be a bad gf...read her profile and look at her buddies
http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseactio...n=user.viewProfile&friendID=5940962

PS hoser, Im glad you ditched practice tonight for the 311 girl.

succubus said:

theyre all gaylords.

succubus said:


Shes got big tities thou.........

and all she cares about is $$$ blah

well, ya shes a woman, and most likely falls into the 90% of the gender that does the same.

that bitch is ugly

and 40 years old.

Hoser, what's your new girlfriend's name?

Hogchild.....it's her real name...

hahahahaha

For the record I'm home alone and did not ditch practice for a girl.

hoser when don't you have a drop dead gf?

I never do...theyre all ugly whores....

Drinkin way too much...hang on................

powerkok, I think I got the best... but maybe we should "swap" for a week end just to find out for real.

ps: in your dreams!

ok she stopped by at 11pm...

Kissed her again....AND I finally figured out why I'm completely in love with her....

She fucking looks exactly like Milla Jovovich...swear to Christ!

Wow...ok she seems to dig me too....hmmmmmm...will I ever plow her?

Maybe...dunno...but I respect her too much to even think that...so I renig on that thought.

G'night

so what's this girl's name? she sounds familiar.

hoser said:

bull-fucking-shit. you're gay if you're not thinking of plowing this girl, especially if she looks like Milla Jovovich (dude, pictures, please), you're just gonna try and do it with her when she's sober and concious this time around.

Hoser's intimidation guide to dating, coming soon on at a book store near you.

hoser give me a call when she's over, I'll stop over and take some pictures in a non wierdo way... just be like "this is my friend tom and he has his camera everywhere he goes! don't mind him"

i dont think there is a non weird way for you to take her pictures randomely the first time you meet her

yes there is, I'll pretend to take pictures of hoser but make sure she's in the picture.... I have my ways. HE HEHEEHE HEHEHE.

okay, another solution, hoser turn on all your lights in your house, I'll take pictures with no flash on so the wierdness is to a minimum.

how bout you just do what I do;
hide in the bushes outside the window and take pictures in a non-weirdo fashion?

the_reverend said:

except you take pictures of little boys so they don't know any better

OH SHIT DAWG!

Ya she really does look like Milla Jovovich, but shes friggin TALL. Christ I've always dated tiny girls. This girl is like 5'9" - 5'10". And she has fairly short hair for a girl. She's really nice though so don't scare her away by telling her that I fart all over the place regularly. She'll find that out on her own. Hehehehehe. Now we'll see if I can get her to go to one of our band practices and "initiate" her....hehehehe.

from now on, i think hoser should start all his posts in this thread with the words "Dear Diary"

so what about me, i though we had something special here....it's ok just drop me in the cold. what does she have that i don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate you

You suck. Oh wait I kissed two chicks this weekend. Nice.

your mom doesn't count as a chick

damn. What about YOUR mom?

so hoser what is this chick's name?

Kalopsia said:

he'll find out later.... ohhhhhh.

hoser said:

fag

Man I thought this thread was about Jill Souble

You don't get girls to talk to you often do you, killer?

the_reverend said:

umm, no not really.

I Kissed a Girl by* Jill Sobule (google pics)
strip links || main index of lyrics
Genny came over and told me about Brad
He's such a hairy behemoth she said
And dumb as a box of hammers
But he's such a handsome guy
And I opened up and told her about Larry
And yesterday how he asked me to marry
I'm not giving him an answer yet
I think I can do better


CHORUS:
So we laughed, compared notes
We had a drink, we had a smoke
She took off her overcoat
I kissed a girl
I kissed a girl


So she called home to say she'd be late
He said, he worried but now he'd feel safe
I'm glad you're with your girlfriend,
Tell her "Hi" for me
So I looked at you, you had guilt in your eyes
But it only lasted a little while
And then I felt your hand upon my knee

CHORUS:
And we laughed at the world
They can have their diamonds
And we'll have our pearls
I kissed a girl
I kissed a girl

I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet
She was just like kissing me
I kissed a girl, won't change the world
But I'm so glad
I kissed a girl

(GUITAR SOLO)

And we laughed at the world
They can have their diamonds
And we'll have our pearls
I kissed a girl (for the first time)
I kissed a girl (and I may do it again)
I kissed a girl
I kissed a girl

I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet
She was just like kissing me (but better)
I kissed a girl

I kissed a girl, won't change the world
But I'm so glad
I kissed a girl (for the first time)
I kissed a girl (won't be the last time)
I kissed a girl
I kissed a girl

#----------------------------------PLEASE NOTE---------------------------------#
#This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the #
#song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship, or research. #
#------------------------------------------------------------------------------##
From: bemont@austin.asc.slb.com

"I Kissed a Girl" - Jill Scobeel(sp?)

I am not sure about the spelling of the singer's name... please correct me.
Jill, forgive me .

As always, I've tried to represent timing as best I can.

Any corrections welcome. I'm still pretty new at this. It's still hard for
me to hear chords... but this sounds good to me.


I: (intro, chorus, solo, outro)

e-|--------3-----3--3--3-----|--------3--3--------3--3--|
B-|--------3-----3--3--3-----|--------3--3--------3--3--|
G-|--------0-----0--0--0-----|--------0--0--------0--0--|
D-|--------------------------|--------------------------|
A-|--------------------------|--3-----------2-----------|
E-|--3-----------------------|--------------------------|


e-|--------3-----3--3--3-----|--------3-----------------|
B-|--------3-----3--3--3-----|--------3-----------------|
G-|--------0-----0--0--0-----|--------0-----------------|
D-|--------------------------|--------------------------|
A-|--0-----------------------|--0--------------2-h3-p2--|
E-|--------------------------|--------------------------|

II: (verse)

| G | C | Am | G |

III: (prechorus)

| Am | Em | Am | Em |

IV: (bridge)

| C | C | D | D |



I 2X
II 2X
III 2X
I 2X
II 2X
III 2X
I 2X
IV 1X
I 2X
II 2X
I many X and fade

--Les

From austin.asc.slb.com!bemont Fri May 19 17:05:31 1995
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To: guitar@nevada.edu
Subject: TAB: "I Kissed a Girl" - Jill Sobule (corrected artist name)
Status: O

"I Kissed a Girl" - Jill Sobule

Transcribed by Les Bemont (bemont@austin.asc.slb.com)

As always, I've tried to represent timing as best I can.

Any corrections welcome. I'm still pretty new at this. It's still hard for
me to hear chords... but this sounds good to me.


I: (intro, chorus, solo, outro)

e-|--------3-----3--3--3-----|--------3--3--------3--3--|
B-|--------3-----3--3--3-----|--------3--3--------3--3--|
G-|--------0-----0--0--0-----|--------0--0--------0--0--|
D-|--------------------------|--------------------------|
A-|--------------------------|--3-----------2-----------|
E-|--3-----------------------|--------------------------|


e-|--------3-----3--3--3-----|--------3-----------------|
B-|--------3-----3--3--3-----|--------3-----------------|
G-|--------0-----0--0--0-----|--------0-----------------|
D-|--------------------------|--------------------------|
A-|--0-----------------------|--0--------------2-h3-p2--|
E-|--------------------------|--------------------------|

II: (verse)

| G | C | Am | G |

III: (prechorus)

| Am | Em | Am | Em |

IV: (bridge)

| C | C | D | D |



I 2X
II 2X
III 2X
I 2X
II 2X
III 2X
I 2X
IV 1X
I 2X
II 2X
I many X and fade

i was thinking of that lesbian song when i saw the title of this thread too
lol

i went up to hoser's place one time and i never got the pink strips under his nose. this girl must be awesome.

Dear Diary:

She came to my band practice last night. She likes Hand Choke Neck. The guys in the band really were very nice to her and on their best behavior. After that, I took her home. She said that she really wanted to see me again, so I invited her to my house tonight so that I could make her dinner.

Here are my dinner plans:

Chicken A la Jake

Boneless chicken breast stuffed with thick sliced Proscuitto and Belgioso provolone, lightly seasoned with Rosemary in a Tangerine demi glace.

Basmati rice with Saffron.

Baby asparagus steamed and buttered.

Crusty Boulle

1 Bottle of any Daboeuf Beaujolais or a nice Chateau la Boutignane.


AND, we'll watch Full Metal Jacket or Dawn of the Dead or something.


Diary, I really like this girl. Please give me the strength not to turn into the complete asshole that I usually am.

Thanks Diary.....you're my best friend.

hahahahhaahhahahaa
fuckin emeril.

Sounds good Hose..except for the tangerine demi

ordering pizza would save alot of time for muff diving.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Emeril.....I'm Emeril and I have a cooking show that always ends in poon.

I'll call the show, "Cooking for Poon."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BAM!

WHAT THE FUCK IS HER NAME YOU ASS MONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would tell you, but I really dont remember.
she is pretty cute tho.
good job hose babe, but remember, you are, and always will be mine.

her name is Bethanie.

cool, now let's see some photos of her

I kissed a girl last night too ::high five::

I didn't. :(

Any available young women that would like to change this, let me know. I like poetry, long walks on the beach and black on black crime.