http://www.collegesexadvice.com/masturbation.shtml

ok look at the link
mastUrbate dammit

I think this is advice that all college freshmen should read.
well, except they need a part about your roomie filming you as frat brothers shove shampoo bottles up your ass even though they claim over and over "we're not gay, you fag"

lol

that was a comical read... i wish my roomie had been that discrete....

she would be on the phone with her bf and just sorta roll over and start having phone sex with him.

WTF! and you didn't tape it?
I would totally set up microphones and then sell the tapes to her friends.

i've done that to lynnaeus

hahahaha

you recorded her having phone sex and sold it to her friends?

close!
i installed cameras

ya every once and a while she calls me and says "i know u just got off the couch so i figured i would call" or "so u got out of the shower a while ago and still havent gotten dressed so i figured id call"

she knows my every move

I bet you were hoping for some "hot shots"
but all the cameras kept returning was

lol

is it just me that got all hot and bothered from that article? Zip!

sounds like someone's all hot and bothered.
don't go near arlington tonight folks,
nick's on the prowler.

nick: don't go reading the female orgasm advice, it's rated x.

x for "X-actly what I enjoy in an article!"
rowr!!!

x for eXtremely eXasurating Xylaphone.

I didnt know it was called jilling off, makes sense thuogh, well ya learn something new everyday. Alot of that stuff in the article is blatantly obvious, Yea if you dont wanna wake some one it s kinda obvious it would be in your best interest not to make any noise.

I think it would be hard for someone to use a vibrator without the room mate knowing...
though if they suspect something, all you have to say is "I'm brushing my teeth"
that is until you are brushing them for 45 minutes straight AND your tooth brush isn't electric

"I smell your lightsaber"

tbone_r is the king of masterbating in college.
if he read this he would surely enlighten everyone.

step aside boys....

masturbating in college isn't just an action, it's an art. It requires intelligence, patience and keen intellect. The 3 best ways to masturbate in college...
3) while taking a dump. if you have a community bathroom then this could be awkward, because beating off when other guys are around is gross. I had a suite this year and last year, so i didn't face this dilemma
2) in the shower. even if you're in the community bathroom, you have sandles and the water is loud so it blocks out others voices.
1) know your roommates class schedule. every college has a fixed schedule, meaning that you know when class periods run from, regardless of whether you have a class then or not. so find out when your roomie has a class, and you've got about an hour to whack away.

questions? comments? guidance? just let me know

yes, is that how you hurt your arm?

hey, that was a totally unrelated incident. i dislocated my shoulder at that converge/cave-in show that i saw you at, then again at the btbam/beloved show.

wiseass

oh man. the freshman sex diet is nice.

ahahah, I just read that...

Don't spit, swallow.
Good news! Swallowing cum won't ruin your diet. In fact, it's good for you. Semen is a low-calorie, low-carb source of concentrated protein that is packed with essential vitamins and minerals. A typical load of cum has about 15 calories, which you will have easily burned off in the process of giving head. Also, ingesting a creamy man-snack can help curb your appetite between meals. For those reasons, we recommend performing blowjobs as often as possible.

i read that yesterday

a creamy man-snack hahahahahahahah

i have a tip --- how about hiding your cum rags when you're done!!!!!!